Some weird stuffs

2012-02-17T02:15:00.000-08:00

I tweeted this a few days back..
I think.

"I've stopped dancing, painting, designing, playing soccer, blogging, vlogging, playing with my guitar. My life is so happening!"

I lost track of time actually.
Unless I check my twitter, I don't know when I made that post.
Sadly.

Oh well, hi!
I happened to chance upon this blog just now and voila!
I suddenly remembered I have a blog!
Meraviglioso!

It's Friday and it's something I should be excited about right?
It's Friday and I have a business meeting to rush to after work!
As usual!
Yay!
-_-

That's what I've been doing.
Rushing here and there.
It has been this way since December actually.
But I managed to make time to at least blog a little.

As the days go by, I got busier to the extend I forgot I even have a blog.
I visited it today and realized that I updated it a month ago, latest.

And then it struck me like lightning! (lame, so just shut up and go with the flow)
How busy I actually am.

I am always busy and I haven't be able to meet my friends for a chat, even.
And when I will be meeting one of them, another two will contact me to meet up as well.
So since I am so busy and I cannot lose the opportunity, I squeeze everyone with such little time.
And I will be rushing from one place to another.
I haven't had a casual walk for months. Miss that.
I haven't been speaking korean. Miss that too.
My legs are always speedy.
Even when they're in pain, I still force for it to walk faster.
Don't symphatize with me.
I hate that the most.
I am not WEAK!
^^

Well, for the win
In the siblings, I am officially the bread winner now.
Tiring.
Carrying this heavy load on my shoulders everywhere I go.
Business here and there just to get money to support the family.
Ain't easy.
I fall sick a few times a month.
But that doesn't stop me at all.

If you wanna say that I've changed.
Lets just say, I have.
This time, drastically.

A book a day keep the remnants away.

Go figure.

By the way, memory has been fading.
This time, faster than before.
Worries me but I cannot let it stop me.
I have to push myself.
Even if it means pushing myself to my limits.
For the sake to achieve my dream.
To retire my parents and get them out of this bloody rat-race.

Because we Singaporeans have to slog for a living.

I thought before about this
That I am better off alone.
Anyway, I am sure as hell I am independant.
I can face the world on my own.

Not because of heartbroken or whatever.
That's just bullshit.

It is in terms that I know that not many will be able to tolerate my habits.
NOT the obvious ones
BUT the oblivious ones that actually, only my siblings know of.
My relatives and friends or anyone out of the family, don't even have a clue about.

So...
I am actually LAZY to go over the process of having someone who have no clue about it, to have a clue about it.
You get what I mean?

Enough of the rant for now then.
I'll get back on track soon.
SOON!

Im not the type to sit still right?
I cannot stand doing something similar over and over again everyday.
Which is not related to any of my interest of course.

Ok bye.
By the way, I haven't been home early these days.
:)
My exhaustion is starting to control me now.
Like a robot. (Lame. So shut up and just go with the flow.)

2012-01-20T17:56:00.000-08:00

Brother had me listening to this song.
At first, I refused because you know the genre of Sean Paul's songs and lyrics.
Not into it, AT ALL.

Well, he wanted me to just switch it on because he wants to listen to it.
Then, he succeeded on making me favor this song.

The rhythm for this song is nice.
Just my type.
Its like stepping into Euphoria.
hahahaha!
What a description but yeah, that's how I feel.

Enjoy!

2012-01-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

A conversation between my friend and I.

His attempts to see my fury and my rowdiness.

"I wanna make you angry. I wanna see that raging anger of yours."

"You can't."

*a thousand attempts to make me angry*

"Why are you so good at controlling your temper?"

"I told you that you can't do it. I hide my tail well."

"Alright, let's see. One day, you will be furious at me."

"Good luck!"

hahaha!

"I have never seen you being tomboyish."

"You're lucky I am nice to you."

"I don't want that! Just be yourself. Will you?"

"I am.."

"No. Treat me like how you treat your other guy friends."

*attempts*

"You think I can't handle your rowdiness"

"I doubt so."

"Think again."

"I will make you think of what you just said in future."

"I doubt so."

His attempts are funny.

Because when I really treat him like how I treat my other friends, he commented that I am much more rebellious now.

Rebellious not, my dear.

Have been.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Roti Bun,

Have you change your life?

Have you re-direct your path?

Have you re-direct yourself?

Have you?

I am still concern, do you know?

Nope, I don't think so.

2012-01-17T18:05:00.000-08:00

#Scorpio never stops winning.

It just means that we don't lose.
Not never, but don't.

I can agree to a certain extend coz I admit, I did fail.
But at the same time, I benefited from it. A whole load of benefits, I must say.
That's what it meant by never stop winning.

I used to be able to save relationships, friendships, problems etc. for both my friends and I.
I do fail a couple of times but the biggest and hardest failure was saving my relationship with Fyrouz.

I gave a thought about it once in a while.
Frankly, I didn't use emotions when I was in that deep thought.
There was none left.

It was then when I tried to save the relationship when it was crumbling down.
I realized I actually did it, single-highhandedly.
Not that I'm saying he did nothing.
Because that's exactly the point!
hahaha~
That was a bust.

Our differences can mesh well.
Only that he, don't want it that way. Then so be it.
I laughed at all the naiveness I used to have, listening to him.
The memories are clear in my memory. I've got videos of it inside my head. Wanna watch? ^^

I did a lot to actually save it but it failed.
I then benefited to have gained a lot more friends and companions.
That's part one.

Few months later, his relationship with the girl he left me for, failed.
He came back to me and frankly, I gave in and then, he left again.
This time, silently and he made it look as if he's never in the wrong.
I would be lying if I mention I didn't get back at him. Yeah? ^^
I then benefited a much more mature mindset with a much stronger faith for a new life.
Companions grew stronger, business start to run.
That's part two.

The benefits don't come directly at you with what you do whilst intending to get it.
It comes in the opposite direction, to you but not with you, right?
Do something the opposite instead.
For example, if you want to be rich, start a business.
Starting up a business use a lot of money but once its stabilized in about 2-3 years, you'll start earning, more than you spent for it.
Lose some to gain some..

Now that is why, people.
#Scorpio never stops winning.

2012-01-17T17:37:00.000-08:00

Dear parents,

If you're looking for a tutor, can you be reasonable?
Seriously.
If you prefer ex school teachers, it's fine and its reasonable.
If you're looking for a current school teacher, you need a bitch slap.

Sincerely,
Me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not an issue pertaining to me.
Sort of. hahaha!

Seriously, I've known a lot of school teachers.
NOT my teachers back when I was still schooling.
Just take it this way.
If everyone wants a current school teacher to tutor their kid.
That is not going to happen.

Speaking as a friend to one current primary school teacher.
She's busy.
Always tired.
And if I'm not wrong, there are rules pertaining to tutoring on the sideline.

Think about it.

2012-01-12T06:19:00.000-08:00

Browsing through photos.
I kept alot of them, actually.
All the old ones.

The first photo was taken on Children's Day 2011 with my Smartest Female Student.
The second was taken in 2008. Poly days.

I've grown of course.
Grown OLD!
hahahaha!

Okay, this is one of my random dumb post.
But yeah. ^^

Ok bye

2012-01-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

What have I been up to?
Alot.

One of it is singing of course.
So much time constrain and so much problems.
Hafizz said my life can be made into a Hindi movie.
With all that drama and stuffs.
Good idea aye?
If it were to ever come true, he's not gonna be the director.
No way!

Oh well, he said that Im always depressed.
Whatever happened before, just put it behind.
He still wants me to balance out my life.

Like Fairul said,
"You're overworking. "

Been busy busy busy!
My business and my job plus my family and the income.
Stabilizing everything is not easy.
Tiring.
But just like William said,
"Get multiple streams of income."

Family's financial crisis has been worst.
With the economic downturn and recession.
Oh dear god, I hate this the most.

After the confinement period,
he finally came back.

He's back in Tekong now.
I miss him already.
He came down to Woodlands yesterday because Mentor wants to meet him.
Which was supposedly to be at Clementi.
But he was so fast asleep, to the extend his sister texted me,
"I know he's supposed to meet you. Tapi susah betol la nak kejut dikni. Padahal he asked me to wake him up tau."
*slaps forehead*

He came down all the way to Woodlands and I immediately recognised him.
He turned so DARK already.
Hugged him and sat down.
Spoke to my mentor and I happily had my meal, alone.
I don't share my food! LOL.
Just kidding.

After that, went to chill for awhile.
Talked and catch up on things and he finally asked me,
"Are you depressed?"

I know he wasn't kidding coz I can get his message just by his expression.
He knows I have been lying and hiding something from everyone.
He recognised that my self-esteem and tone has been different.
Maybe because I am not that hyper and crazy yesterday? hahaha!
Oh wells.
Its been since he went off.

I admitted to him that I am extremely depressed and pour my every heartfelt words to him.
I kept in too much and with my exhaustion, lets just say that I am currently in a very bad shape.
I couldn't talk to just anyone about my problem.
It is only him I can trust on this problem.
Yes, he knows the issue in depth.
He didn't wanna know the details of course, it'll be too long.
But he understands it well already.

When my mentor first saw how we treat each other
She commented,
"Both of you are very close.."
Then looked at Awi and said,
"and I can see that you trust her alot."

My mentor did mention too, yesterday morning,
"I can see that all of your friends trust you alot. That is very good. It is not easy to have that kinda trust you know."
I replied a simple,
"Well, I went through alot to get that. But it's worth it. :) "

The sacrifices and all.
It's worth it.
Relationships are important.
Seriously.

I miss Awi.
So so much!
He got angry the other time.. Not at me of course.
"Dia da buat kau macam gini. Tu jantan sial tau Na!"

I was speechless.
His expression never lie whenever he's angry.

Awi is not a friend.
He's family.

2012-01-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

My dearest kids,

Leaw, Jerald, Rachel, Mandy, Justin, Amanda, Chow, Elgin, Jia Jia, Tan, Cons, Meng Tao, Yong, Amos, Lim, Wei Shan, Phone Paing, Jason.

I miss all of you.

So much.

I keep thinking of your well-being.

I am constantly worried of all of you.

Be it health and academics.

I miss all of you.

I will see you in February.

The whole day will be spent with all of you.

You are the best.

I miss all of you.

So so much.

:'(

With Love,

Teacher Siti (Mom)

2012-01-03T09:21:00.001-08:00

It's not the life that I dreamt of.

But it's a life that's worth.

I don't understand how a person can apologise deeply to you

As if they are speaking their heart out, pouring all those heartfelt words of apology

Right after you've forgive that person

That person, does it again.

Do you need someone to do that to you, THRICE as hard?

Then you would understand how it feels EXACTLY?

Do you?

Do you even feel or own empathy towards others?

I think NOT!

It was a smart move for people like my friends and I always do.

Once bitten, twice shine.

We're mistaken, coz you blind.

You prefer the short term better yet, when the long term you decline.

You deserve nothing but karma, coz it hits right back at you everytime.

I have this DTA belief with me.

Dont Trust Anybody.

I don't trust anyone easily.

Even if I get into a heated argument with my own mother about trusting a person that she does.

Don't force me to trust anybody.

When I don't, I don't.

Oh, new workplace?

Boredom-to-the-max-that-my-head-hurts-so-much-coz-of-the-no-work-to-do-boredom-that-makes-me-uber-sleepy symptom.

Ok bye

2011-12-30T10:21:00.000-08:00

This is it..

Yesterday, 30th December 2011, Friday, marks the last day everyone will be working together.

We left Wellington on the 28th and load all the stuffs to Corporation on both 28th and 29th.

30th was the open house for the registration.

I see the faces of theirs

Tears and all the well wishes from everyone to each other

Seeing Belinda shed tears when we hugged each other goodbye.

I was very touched.

With the many conflicts and disagreements we had, we still care for each other.

A great team.. Everyone worked together.

Gaya hugged and kissed me on the cheek while being at it. How bout'that?

I am really really putting aside those 2 lazy china colleagues.

Not being racist but my chinese colleagues too have issues with them.

Even our china ex colleagues weren't lazy.

They are too lazy!

Okay, forget about them. Im free from them, aren't I?

hahaha!

On the 28th, we left Wellington at 9.30am.

Every other teacher had the chance to do the handover except me.

I was too busy with the fees and all.

I missed that chance.

The new company's teachers were already in the class but I didn't give concern on what they will think of me.

I just rushed into the class and got my things and I called ALL of my kids out.

I spoke to them and all.

Hugged.

Gave alot of advices for them to take care of themselves.

Just seeing the new teacher in the class, taking care of them, worry me alot already.

I am really afraid of what may become of them..

I've been with them for 3 years plus and I know each and everyone of them very well.

I didn't cry. I told them I wouldn't.

Until the other teachers went off, left me and my boss.

3 other students just left their CCA because they knew I was already leaving.

I saw the 3 of them running down the staircase and from afar they shouted, "Teacher Siti!!!!"

All the way.

I was too touched and I cant hold onto my tears anymore.

I hugged them and I just cried.

They saw me cry and they cried too.

Including the boys.

They ran into the toilet to hide but got out instead to bid me goodbye.

Those tears were pure.

I barely see them cry.

What more cry for me?

I am proud of them.

They have grown to be independent and strong individuals.

Grown to be leaders.

I pray they will continue to sore higher.

My bunch of kids.

My beloved bunch of kids.

Boss saw me cried and he smiled at me.

The kids begged him to let me stay but he explained that he needs me to be in charge of another centre.

They were really persistent.

Boss asked me yesterday, "Did the children contact you still? Are they still crying?"

I nodded.

I told them this before I go,

"Don't take whatever I am going to say as disgusting or embarassing. Especially the boys. I love all of you alot and definitely, I will never forget each and everyone of you. All of you has been my remedy for the past 3 years plus. Though you stressed me up, pissed me off, you kids still make me laugh when I am at my lowest. I have alot of problems of my own, that all of you do not know of. I share alot of my experiences with you to let you learn, how much pain I went through to get to where I am now. Thank you, all of you. For picking me up everytime I am extremely sad or disappointed. To make me laugh everytime I don't feel like it. You kids have the ability to soften my heart. You are like my own kids. I sent you home whenever your parents were not able to fetch you. I waited under the block with you until your parents reached to bring you home. It just shows that I am very concern of your well-being. Continue to excel in your studies. This class has been the best for the past few years. Remember, no failures. Its for your future. Thank you again. You kids are the best. "

I will miss telling stories of my life experiences as a child and a teen to them.

I will miss seeing them teasing me whenever I blushed (like those times when ex-boyfriend always passed by the school to see me. Which they will look out of the window at 5.30pm everyday to see if he will come by. They were very CUTE!!)

I will miss telling them ghost stories that just freaked them out and laughed together in the end. Rolling on the floor laughing, literally, all of us.

I will miss playing with them, creating new games and improving the old.

I will miss us teaching each other new skills. I will miss them teaching me how to skate, till I fell on my butt! And all of them just ran to me to make sure I was okay and immediately took off the skates of my feet and put on my shoes instead. Now THAT, was extremely SWEET!

I will miss them taking care of me everytime I fall sick. They remained silent and complete their work on their own whenever I feel asleep because of Fever or Flu or Headache. Taking a cup of hot water for me whenever I have period cramps. My period cramps are awful. It is to the extend I will turn pale and just cannot feel my legs.

I will miss telling jokes to each other and making them laugh.

With them gone, I feel a huge lost.

They were my only remedy.

The only one.

They are the ones that I can tell that I am sad or angry.

Though they do not the situation at all, they still listen to what I have to say and they still manage to perk me up.

The power of kids.

I will miss doing alot of things with them.

Teaching them how to play soccer and basketball. ^^

Teaching them how to play the guitar, dance and sing.

All of my interest and my skills, they have got the basics of it.

I have alot to type about.

I do think I have not enough time to do it.

To sum it all up,

My 2001 babies, I love you alot and I will definitely miss you.

You are my first students and the most cherished.

I do not and will never regret protecting all of you, making time to make sure you're safe.

Thank you so so much for the best birthday celebration ever!

You were extremely sweet!

Please please take care of yourselves.

Teacher Siti will confirm a date to meet you at least twice a year.

May all of you grow to be dependable, reliable, strong and independent people.

You've made me proud.

:')

Don't be surprised if they know that I was extremely devastated when I broke up with him.

I didn't show any sign of it but they just came to know.

Since the day I fell sick, to the 3 weeks I didn't attend work because of my illness, they took good care of me..

Always cautious whenever my head hurts.

2011-12-25T05:13:00.000-08:00

Back from the chalet.

It's a good thing the Maijdz Clan were invited.

I foresee a fun ride with them.

All the time, without fail.

The surprise was, two of Momma's younger sisters too booked a chalet at the same place.

The best part was, everyone was side by side!

And the better part was, we moved to one chalet to another.

Going to each other's 'houses'.

Can it get any better?

YES!

We planned a surprise for Momma and Father for their birthday.

Oh by the way

Their anniversary is on 23rd of Dec, Father's birthday on the 24th and Momma's birthday on the 25th and 26th was my supposed......put that aside.

We planned and moved like assassins.

It was so fun, we panicked alot of times.

hahaha!

There's a video for it.

As usual, not all was able to attend due to working.

That's the only reason.

Seriously.

So, it's fine.

As long as most were around, it's fun already!

But with full force, it'll be better!

For instance, the Majidz Clan's spouses are with us as though we grew up together as well.

It's weird for someone not to be able to click and mesh with us.

The spouses too was surprised to see us, in the beginning.

Especially me.

Thinking i'm arrogant and all that stuffs.

Turned out, they gave comments about me that are totally the opposite.

hehehe

Don't judge a book by its cover, aye?

I get comments like, "U actually very cheerful eh? But fierce to the younger ones pon".

It's fast for them to see how my emotions may swing and how my anger really looks like.

Family, nothing to hide.

To a certain extent.

hahaha

Don't tell me you go about your family and boast about the bad stuffs you've done?

Like, ruining other people's lives, for the win?

hmm...

All the late night walks and talks.

Playing pool till the morn..

Got 2 tables and we moved from one to another.

Exchanging turns to be exact.

Going to the coffee shop in the morning.

Walking in the rain.

Diving into the pool and sea.

Plus FISHING!

Not forgetting, the fun of chasing and killing cockroaches!

That was really funny!

We have our differences.

Undeniable fact that we love each other very much.

We don't go around talking about other people, in or out of our family.

Gossiping about them.

Like those typical aunties who got nothing better to talk about but to talk about other's flaws.

We only lash out our disagreements to the closest cousin to us and that's it.

Stop.

NOT naming a person, not a nice one at it, all the time.

We had fun.

We listen to stories and how my married cousins first met their spouse.

It's funny and cute at the same time.

Especially Kak Lia's.

Talking about the days we had when we're younger.

Both when I was already alive and haven't.

The name Majidz Clan originates from:

Majid: Our dear late grandfather, Majid Bin Madon.

(I send out my do'a to you everytime I pray, grandada. We will always love you. )

We add on a little touch of Urban with the letter 'Z' at the end. :)

Clan: You know what it is, need I say more? hahaha

Till we meet again in April.

For Lela's wedding, Lia's childbirth (InsyaAllah) and our trip!

May Allah bless us with neverending happiness and stronger bonds as days passed.

Amin.

Ok bye.

2011-12-18T10:33:00.000-08:00

Those in twitter that I find true.

There's a resemblance to me.

Huge.

------------------------------------

A #Scorpio Man will give absolutely honest advice, appraisal, or compliments.

I know one of this date. This is too true about him.

Nov.18 #Scorpios possess amazing determination. While its nearly impossible to win an argument against them, they make challenging opponents.

Same goes for this one..

November 12 #Scorpios possess a dual nature and are extremely witty. They are loners, yet they have a very magnetic personality.

--------------------------------------------------------------

They like to put themselves into situations where they will be noticed, then are likely to pull back when too much attention is on them.

When a #Scorpio is insulted or hurt, our fury knows no bounds.

Not everyone has seen it but, many did.

#Scorpios are very choosy with their friends, and even more choosy with a partner.

A #Scorpio has to win in every aspect of life because failure breaks something inside of us.

Ego

#Scorpios are usually interested in people who we feel are more than meets the eye.

#Scorpios don't like when their originality is challenged.

For a #Scorpio, it's quality over quantity when it comes to friends. We rather have that 1 good friend than a bunch of aquaintences.

A #Scorpios loyalty runs deep. If you're always good to a Scorpio, we will forever be there for you.

A #Scorpio is a Scorpios own worst enemy. The quicker we realize that, the better off we'll be.

If it's too easy, a #Scorpio does not want it.

Most #Scorpios don't believe that they can't have something they want, We want what's a CHALLENGE to have.

#Scorpios are usually a good judge of character.

I'll know if you're shy or just acting to be one.

A #Scorpio naturally scopes out their surroundings wherever we go.

Curiousity.

A #Scorpio just Needs "Me Time" throughout the day because our thoughts go a mile a minute, literally.

A #Scorpios mind is rock solid, once made up there's no changes and little room for compromise.

Sometimes a #Scorpio can hold grudges, BUT we also will never forget a good deed done for us.

Good deeds remain in my memory forever.

A #Scorpio can easily intimidate others because we're not afraid to make eye contact or say what we feel.

It is a #Scorpios GOAL to figure out people and understand who they r e a l l y are.

#Scorpios are very particular with money. We don't do too much impulse or regretful shopping.

Unnecessary cosmetics, for example. :)

#Scorpios love to be teases to other people, but Hate to tease themselves.

Every #Scorpio has a deep routed fear of rejection, because that means we weren't good enough.. and we can't accept not being good enough.

#Scorpios may seem dreamy all the time, but we're very much intact with reality, just in deep thought.

#Scorpios like to keep their private life PRIVATE and their professional life completely separate from that.

If it seems like you have a motive to want to get to know a #Scorpio, we'll feel that and distance ourselves..

A #Scorpio won't BEGIN to let something go until we see remorse from the person for doing it.

A #Scorpios mind is an extraordinary place. Most Scorpios "Live in their mind" which means we think a lot.

Wanna befriend a #Scorpio? Be chill and easy. We're naturally drawn to people who seem like they dont overthink life cause we tend to do that.

A #Scorpio may seem quiet but that's most definitely the OPPOSITE of our personality. We're not quiet, we're observant.

A #Scorpio thrives on being able to rise to the occasion and take control of any chaos nobody else can handle.

A #Scorpio will send back whatever vibe YOU give to us. If we sense that you dont wanna be around us, trust we wont be around.

A #Scorpio wont give you a fake compliment. If nothings compliment worthy about you, why say anything?

#AScorpiosPetPeeve having someone see something we're working on before we're ready it to show them or before it's finished!

A #Scorpio likes to work for what they really want. If it was handed to us, it just wouldn't be the same.

It'd be boring if I don't have to figure something out. At least one thing.

Not all #Scorpios have trust issues, but we ARE suspicious by nature.

#ScorpiosDislike depending on other people.

#ScorpiosDislike an insincere compliment. We see right through the fakeness, so just be real.

#ScorpiosDislike simple-minded people. We just don't understand a closed minded person.

#Scorpios aren't interested in temporary friendships because we want life-long bonds.

#Scorpios can be antisocial at times, but it's nothing personal. Usually..

If a #Scorpio apologizes it will most likely be for HOW we said something, not WHAT we said.

When a #Scorpio blows up on you, don't expect an apology afterwards. Even after we get over the situation, we won't regret what we said.

I remembered saying something really harsh to someone. Till now, I don't regret saying it.

#Scorpios have a HUGE wall up. It takes time & care to get us to bring it down.

You don't even have to say a word, but if somethings wrong, your #Scorpio friend WILL know.

#Scorpios will always keep you guessing because we don't see any fun in nothing being left to the imagination.

A #Scorpio can sense fakeness from a mile away.

That girl was a fake soft-spoken kinda person. Proven true.

#Scorpios like to be on the move. We won't chase after too many people, but we WILL chase money.

#Scorpios are natural savers and we like to spread out our money. Stashing some here, investing some there.

The difference w #Gemini & #Scorpio is that one person will see both sides of a gem, but a person will rarley see both sides of a Scorpio.

A #Scorpio is said to usually lead two different lives.

hahahaha! Only He and I know of it. ^^

#Scorpios despise weakness in others but despise it even MORE in themselves.

A #Scorpio will think for hours to come up with a solution because we don't like to let our problems linger on.

If a problem is repeated, it's time consuming to find another solution.

Talk is cheap to a #Scorpio. We defiantly need to see some action before we believe things.

Seeing is believing.

A #Scorpios story lies beneath their eyes, and it's hidden well.

A #Scorpios not likely to give you an excuse. We'll give you a reason.

Once any #Scorpio is pissed, there's no turning back, and no calming down. You have to let us calm down ourselves.

Don't try comforting. Talk sense. Not criticisms either.

Get any #Scorpio to open up to you, and you'll be surprised of how sensitive and caring they really are.

#Scorpio women are feisty, not afraid to take criticism, and stand up for their friends or close loved ones.

#Scorpios come off warm and genuine at times, & cold and distant at others. It all depends on our mood.

Moodswings.

To put it simply, you'll never fully understand a #Scorpio unless you ARE a Scorpio.

hahaha! TRUE!

A #Scorpios love is beautiful, pure, & endless. It knows no bounds.

A #Scorpio can not be easily deflected from their purpose.

If you want a challenge, a #Scorpio will give it to you, We are not the ones to make it easy for you.

#Scorpios like to see our friends and family happy, but we are FAR from "People Pleasers".

We feel so deeply that once a #Scorpio cares, it feels close to impossible for us to stop caring about someone or something.

But #Scorpios are strong. Once we realize our own strength, we can get over ANYTHING.

A #Scorpio Woman only smiles when she means it.

If I don't feel like smiling, I won't.

A #Scorpio Woman sets and KEEPS to her own standards.

Nov. 19 #Scorpios are self-controlled, taciturn individuals who make good leaders yet do not mix well with others.

----------------------------------------

There's more but I'd be misinterpreted by others about my habits.

Nyet!

2011-12-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

From the hype
To the rush
To the flight
To the food
To the 5 star hotel
To the adventure of FOOD!
And many other things as well.

(Captions under photos)

Momma sending me off..

Allah's beautiful creation

I thought this doesn't exist anymore! I was so glad I got this!

Fetched from airport and Uncle brought me to eat Chicken Rice. Sodaaaap~

Ze 5-star Hotel. I didn't know I'd be settling down at such hotels for the 3 days. hahaha. Wow wee! Booked and paid by uncle & aunty.

Got Dunkin Donuts. hehe!

Call me Noob. I didn't know there's Gong Cha in KL! What else, kebas la. haha

I was too full already and he still bought otah for me. I still CLEARED it anyway. ahahaha!

He said that the previous photo is not nice coz it wasnt in an appropriate arrangement. So then, he took 2 otahs and let his hands do the posing. With the Rojak Noodles. My uncle is one entertaining person. No kidding!

He still persuade me to eat this Ice Kachang. Oh! There was a bit of an argument because of it. Then, uncle still argued just so I get to eat it. hehe. So pampered!

Sambal Stingray

Aunty's bad aiming. She had the prawn on her spoon. Then she talk and talk and talk, till it dropped. She didn't realize it until she saw me taking a photo of something. She laughed out loud that she didn't know what else to say. ahahha

Ze swimming pool. Viva la vee! Got angmoh. But not good looking. Seriously. hahaha

Macam biasa jugak.

Haagen Dazs

Red Velvet

Bye KL. :'(

Arrive in Singapore and had a meal with sis.

I gotta thank alot to both my Uncle and Aunty for bringing me around.

Else, the taxi fare will KILL me there.

The food and accommodation.

It was brilliant!

Thank you for taking good care of me.

Feeding me all the time till I gained a kilo.

In just 3 days.

hahaha!

I had fun.

A short getaway from the stress at home.

2011-12-18T05:11:00.000-08:00

The definition of Beautiful.
I love this song since the first time I heard it
Introduced by my aunty when I was very young.
Can't remember the age.
I never forget about this song. Never.

------------------
Its a bad habit for me to have a video made, but never broadcasted.

Because of the time constrain.

I didn't even get to touch my desktop for more than 15 minutes.

Guilty conscious

Mother will come nagging at me like sitting in front of the desktop is a crime.

hahaha

Tell me about it.

Moms.

What's new?

Nothing!

Not exactly.

I met up with an old friend, who talks about things that I used to have..

I couldn't find the exact words to describe it but he filled me in.

He said I patah semangat along the way, 2 years back..

But now, I am back on thinking of the different strategies to get this working.

With my brother and sister.

My brother and I, plus my closest cousin, had this dream since we were children.

Like having this business up, get is stabilized, get good income, get a big big house and all three of us can live together!

Just like old times..

Old times..

When the cousins and I were very close.

I remember the time when my cousin, Kak Lia, lined us, the younger ones, behind her and sang 'Lagu Tiga Kupang'..

We got scolded by our parents.

We laughed and get punished together.

Argued, fought, got into unnecessary accidents.

Those were the days.

I am proud to say

We are still united as before.

Only that, most of us are married with children

Working full time jobs etc.

The time spent with each other are lesser.

But when we're together

Its still the same bond.

As strong.

If I'm gonna continue to type about my family

It won't end.

Seriously..

hahaha

Oh and people

Stop lying and stop pretending

For nuts.

Ok bye

2011-12-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

I watched Ombak Rindu while I'm in KL.
Lead Actress Maya Karin came down to the cinema to have a game with us.
She's a very humble and nice person.
Easy going as well..

With this fever
I still can't sleep
Coz I'm very much disturbed.

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terima ku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisiku

Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosaku
Hanya ingat Kamu kala dukaku
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka
Pintu hatinya ‘tuk cintaku

Malam kau bawalah rinduku
Untuk dirinya yang jauh dariku
Agar dia tidak kesepian
Selalu rasa ada cinta agung

Hujan bawa air mataku
Yang mengalir membasuh lukaku
Agar dia tahu ku tersiksa
Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku

Hanya mampu berserah
Moga cahaya tiba nanti

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia
Untuk terimaku seadanya
Kerna ku tak sanggup
Kerna ku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa dia di sisiku
---------------------------------
:'(

I'm glad I came across this movie and this song.

Says alot.

"Siang malam fikir pasal dia je.. Dia sihat ke tidak. Da makan ke belum. Dapat sufficient rest ke tidak.."

2011-12-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

Leaving at 9am tomorrow..

Reaching there at 10am.

Flying off at 1pm.

Spending my last few moments with brother.

Coz when I come back, he'll be away for weeks in camp already.

Take care brother..

I will miss you for sure.

Tuesday and today has been a blast!

Tuesday, celebrating Awi's belated birthday before he went off to BMT, again.

He wanted Swensens for the past few months and he finally got it.

I was amazed on how he appreciate food.

Seriously, you will be awed.

Brother was around as well...

We went to Karaoke before that..

Played billiard after that and went off to airport for Swensens.

I gotta say this.

Karaoke was crazy!

We were crazy!

Today was the same..

Only that it was with twinny! and Salam. *singing* Sampaikanla salam..

hahaha

Twinny didnt sing coz she shy shy.

With me also wanna shy shy.

hahaha

But it was okay..

Played billiard after that.

It was fun fun fun!

With twinny's blurness + Brother's pro-ism + Salam's step tak tahu + My selenge-ness.

Seriously

It was non-stop blabbering.

Especially me, of course.

Hahahaha

This week has been fun.

Though my heart hurts.

Head havent been nice with me.

I wonder why all the time.

Hmm..

"Never lie to me. With assumptions of my actions. If I asked you a question, chances are, very high at it, I already know. So when you lie, I won't be nice, at all"

I don't understand why people lie..

If they lie just to protect others, it's fine.

But lie while toying the person's feelings

Be it flattery or not

It's stupid.

Mark my words.

Btw, I don't have a facebook anymore.

Ok bye.

2011-12-03T23:12:00.000-08:00

This is what happens if I'm alone at home

Been sometime since I updated about a day's routine.

So..
HALF of the family went off to Cameron, leaving the first four siblings behind.
Okay, lets put aside my eldest. She's married what.

So, I was expected to come home to accompany my second sis on Friday.
Apparently, I ended up sleeping alone.
Might as well I don't go home right.
Tsk..
Wasted trip like that..
Then, I was left alone at home and I gave up.
CC came and fetched me to go to Sis' house.

Sleepover and in the wee hours of the morning, I left the house already.
Because my house, is in a mess.
Anyway, I always clean the house alone.
Expected with no more questions asked.

Got home, and second sis is not home.
Bro asleep and I started out with the laundry.
Wash laundry, keep the folded ones, take down the dry ones, fold the dry ones, hang the washed ones to dry.
And then, I clear off the kitchen. Scrub scrub scrub.
Then, my computer table.
Outrageous!
The stuffs that belongs to me is the only the desktop set!
The rest, no comments. TOTALLY not mine.
Wipe off every dust. The tv shelf and everywhere I see dusts.
Then, I clear the dining table.
Then, I vacuumed the whole house.

I prefer to do things on my own.
Own time own target.
I won't get to waste energy getting angry at any dissatisfaction done by others.
hahahaha!
Selfish, in a way.

What happens when I'm alone?
I clean up.
At the same time, SING, DANCE and ACT like a TOTAL BARBARIAN.
hahaha!
I used the vacuum hose as my guitar and jump around here and there, WHILE vacuuming.
No one's gonna complain, so why not distress as well?

Then, took out my guitar and spoil it.
hahahaha
I'm kidding.
That's my precious!

I looked through the old photos and I laughed at every ugly photos of myself.
Talked to myself for the whole day
Coz there is no one to talk to. Might as well. :)

Oh, crap
I forgot to take the water out of the vacuum cleaner.
Ok bye!

Oh crap

2011-12-02T09:29:00.001-08:00

I bumped into this song..
I used to listen to this song so often years back.
Oh my god.
Those were the days.
I still loooove this song though.
X)

By the way, brother brought Winnie along to Cameron
He went with both my parents and my younger sister.

Next week, it'll be my turn to fly.
With none of them..
So yeah.
Time to distress much!

Sis's boyfriend came over for sleepover
Coz momma told him to..
Hmm..
Whatever la.. Not my problem.

He went over to the shop and I called him up to buy me a drink while he's there.
Then, I hung up and I said, "Good.. Just see how boyish I can get." to my sister.
She gave me that 'I dont care, nothing new' kinda look.
Cut that crap out, yeah?

As I was SAYING
Brother brought Winnie along and I'm left alone at home..
Damn it.

Oh well..
I'm in need to rejuvenate actually
My condition hasn't been at all good..
I'm not worrying so much
I'm trying not to think about it.

You know.. like I told Awi..
"It sucks to be the one that's sick amongst your friends"

Sucks.. But it seems like, I'm the healthiest. It's all in the mind people..

2011-12-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

Heard the news that we'll be leaving earlier than we thought..
Hmm..
Saddens me more..

Nevertheless, Kakak supervisor gonna ease my job scope coz it seems that boss gonna pay the rest the same as me.
That's good!
I don't want to do subsidies, especially!
hahaha!

Well, basically the only thing I wanna do are the accounts.
The marketing and all that.
I can't deny that I love doing my work, working side by side with Rin..

But since she wanna delegate the job..
Why not?
hahaha

Im gonna miss my kids..
Alot..
Naughty and always get on my nerves
Yet, they are extremely loved by me..

In hopes they will grow up to be wise people..

Wondering on what I should buy for them..
Hmm..
What uh?

2011-11-29T05:20:00.001-08:00

And all are completed!

I have yet to make the counting.

Here it goes;

My birthday video

Everytime I watch this video, I smiled. I can never forget those amazing three days.
Just very amazing. To have these people in my life, is a great blessing. I thank Allah S.W.T for protecting me throughout these 21 years. I thank my family for bringing me up into this independant person I am now. I thank my companions, my friends, for always being there for me, supporting me during my downturns and tolerating with my undying loudness and 'tak tahu malu'-ness and everything else. I am grateful to have children like my kids to be in my life, being with me all the way for the 3 years plus I'm with them. They see me everyday and they didn't get sick of me. Thank you my children, for doing this for me because you know this is the last that you will get to see me as your teacher. :'( I love all of you so much.
Thanks to Rohana & Surya for the birthday gift though it's belated. THANK YOU!
Thank you Momma, Father and Siblings for being extremely patient and tolerant with me through my every nonsense. You never let me go with my crimes. You always make sure I admit to it and learn from it.
Thanks to Kakak, CC, Anga, Kak Rozie, Kak Mimi & Izzuddin for making an outing for my birthday. I had fun!
Thanks to my undying companions;
Ridaudin, Hizan, Muhaimin, Asnawi, Nashri, Zarinah & Eunice Usha.

Ridaudin, thank you for making time just to come down and join us for my celebration though you're out of cash, you didn't make that as a reason not to attend. You are always just a phone call away and will never stop calling me everyday to check on me. You wanna make sure I'm doing just fine and you know when I'm not.
Hizan, thank you for the undying support you've provided me anytime, anywhere. You're the best twinny anyone can ask for. BUT, you're MY twinny. heehee! Your understanding is really priceless.
Muhaimin, thank you for being so annoying all the time that just cannot make me angry at you. Thank you for that laughter I had when you tweeted, "Tmr is your busuk day!" You're the most annoying son I've ever had. Nevertheless, the son who cannot make my temper stay even for a minute.
Asnawi, my favourite grandchild. Thank you for understanding me and fully tolerating my nonsense. You have always been there to listen to me no matter how busy you are. You are my part-time doctor who is always very concern of my illness. Though I treat it as trivial.
Nashri, though you're always missing, I know you're the buddy I can rely on if I have problems. Giving me advices that is on par with my limitations and that, it actually works. Thank you for not forgetting(?) hahahaha!
Zarinah, being the most jumpy supervisor I've ever had, you're a friend and a sister as well. A friend who knows what exactly I'm going through and do what you may just to assist me with anything. Thank you for keeping wishing me from the day before to the day itself. Through facebook, twitter and text. It was very sweet.
Eunice Usha, thank you for coming down to school just to celebrate my birthday with the kids. You went through that extremely heavy rain just to reach school on time. It has always been incomplete in class coz you're not around. Thank you, it was the sweetest of you to do that.
Not enough words to describe how much I appreciate all of you.

Sincerely, ME.

Up next, the wedding of Siti Zahara, one of the Majidz Clan member, on my birthday. An awesome one coz Majidz Clan was there!
Majidz Clan hoot hoot!

Sekian, terima kasih.
Chey!

Ok bye

2011-11-19T22:43:00.000-08:00

Berapa lamakah lagi
Terpaksa aku menanti
Sehingga pedihnya penyiksaan di hati

Bukan hanya kepentingan
Malahan keegoan telah ku korbankan
Berlimpahan kasih sayang aku curahkan
Buat mu seorang

Kiranya semua itu
Tak bermadai bagi mu
Apa sebenarnya yang kau mahu
Ku tak tahu

Kau hilang bila ku tiba
Kau datang bila ku kecewa
Terasa diri...di persenda
Dimana berakhirnya nanti
Permainan sandiwara mu ini
Sesungguhnya aku tak mengerti

Jika benar cinta itu buta
Butakah mata ku
Berkali terluka masih jua ku merindu
Apa yang ku inginkan
Cuma kejujuran dalam perhubungan

2011-11-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

Jangan dekat atau jangan datang kepadaku lagi
Aku semakin tersiksa karena tak memilikimu
Kucoba jalani hari dengan pengganti dirimu
Tapi hatiku selalu berpihak lagi padamu

Mengapa semua ini terjadi kepadaku

Tuhan maafkan diri ini
Yang tak pernah bisa menjauh dari angan tentangnya
Namun apalah daya ini
Bila ternyata sesungguhnya aku terlalu cinta dia…

Tapi hatiku selalu berpihak lagi padamu

Mengapa semua ini terjadi kepadaku

Tuhan maafkan diri ini
Yang tak pernah bisa menjauh dari angan tentangnya
Namun apalah daya ini
Bila ternyata sesungguhnya aku terlalu cinta dia

Aku terlalu cinta dia…

I am rather, speechless.
Welcome to my life.

Even those days when I seemed to be happier.
I seemed to be.
But my mind didn't get off the thoughts of his wellbeing.
God, please help me.
What are all these?

You know what I feel like?
Its like I'm loving someone, who doesn't even exist.
But he's there.
Right there.

You're too awkward to me now.
Too awkward.

I sensed
History of the past few months
Is repeating itself.

Because the progress of this
Is EXACTLY of that before.
EXACTLY.

Nevermind
People like me
Are people whom others like to mess around with.
Because our hearts are the weakest.

Thanks to all those people who treat people like me this way.
Thank you very much.

2011-11-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

This place just looks dull enough without photos.
And so, I have uploaded these two.
I found these and I remembered when I took it.

All for a good reason.
Promise.
:)

From this picture above, I am confident to say that I DO NOT look like my sister. *in denial* But what gives? hahaha!

Lately, I haven't been in the best of mood.
Things came up so fast, I don't know which to attend to first.

Lets not talk about today.
So depressing.
I cannot afford to get angry.
It jeopardizes my health very much.

I spoke to my best friend yesterday night.
He can never stop protecting me.
To him, "I will not let you go until you find the right man to look after you. So far, none came across in your life."
Blessed.

I totally forgot about something until he reminded me of it.
"You've been very depressed these days. You're sick and these just made it worst."

What can I say
I don't love anyone half halfheartedly.
Never.

2011-11-13T04:14:00.000-08:00

Love
Is not to hurt.
I have no trust to put my feelings on anyone
Not anymore.

You can simply just talk to me as and when you wanna.
I am still human.

One time, you were like this.
Next, you're totally the opposite.
You didn't clarify anything at all
And suddenly, now, I didn't know anything.
You've got time for cyber.
But no, not me.
I know where this is going already.

Remember when I said this,
"Words are just words."

I am that stupid person who let you do this to me.
I am that stupid person who prays for you everyday.
I am that stupid person who is very concern of your well-being, no matter what you do/did to me.
I am that stupid person who WAITS for you to be home, safe, everyday, yet...

But tell you what,
This stupid person here, never ask for anything in return.
Coz whatever I do, whatever I've said, they're Real and sincere.

I can be a bitch. Anytime I want it to happen, I can.
But I know something, I have something you don't.

The love from each and everyone of my friends
Has proven to be sincere and undying.
They talked to me, contact me, much more often that you do.
Much much more often.
You are always just missing. Unless I said something.

I don't feel I am even Needed in your life.

Speaking to my own logic and opinions,
I laid it here.

I don't know what made you this way.
You don't tell me anything at all.

"Don't say things to flatter me. Say the truth, the every truth, though it will hurt me."

Well that's,
my principle.

If you want something, if you know you need something, go for it. Never give up until it tells you straight in your face, it's not gonna happen.

2011-11-13T03:38:00.001-08:00

OMG.
I am very speechless.

2011-11-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

:'(

2011-11-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

"This is why I like talking to you whenever I'm depressed. You're very patient with us and you never fail to remain as cheerful as always"

I don't drag anger, not anymore.
If I let it go, I let it go and carry on the day as if nothing happened.
Coz, I let it go.

You know what they say
Don't hate the player, hate the game..

Gotta thank both twinny and her boyfriend for the undying support they have for me.
In whatever I do.
But if it's something cruel, they will stop me for sure.

I spoke to twinny on the phone just now.
And the calefare(her boyfriend) at the back kept on mumbling things into the speaker.
When I hang up, twinny tweeted something to me.
Which I didn't know that two of those tweets were from her boyfriend.

But lets put it this way, twinny's words were very direct and I can't escape it.
At all.

Today has been a run about for me.
Kinda.
I learnt something new today.
"All of us are living in a rat-race. Only a few doesnt"

Mael told me that today and I gotta admit, its very true.

Before I met Mael, I called Awi.
Coz his facebook is really suspicious.
At 4pm, and he just woke up.
His lazy voice just turned into laughter when I said, "Oh, u just woke up? Gooooood morning! "
hahahaha!
He got what I meant.

He told me some things that surprised me.
coz all these while, I thought no one would understand what I am going through right now.
Apparently, he's feeling the same way as I am about the situation we call cliche to everyone else.
I was delighted when he asked, "You understand what I mean anot?"
And I went like, "I understand you fully I cannot explain. Coz it is the same case for me! My grandson has got the same instincts as me! Power la!"

So that's how it goes..
Met Mael
He gave me ideas on how the business works, along with some catching up.
Been years since I last saw him.

Then went off to meet Rid and he's LATE!
An hour and a half LATE!
He made it up to me by treating me to dinner.
I was so hungry, I can eat a cow on my own.
hahaha!

On the way home and KeeTee wanna meet up.
For Winnie.
Again,parted with Winnie and she will be back by Wednesday.
I hope. :(

Today brings a few lessons to me.
He asked me questions which I can't answer much.
This guy is a smart one.

"Get the answer from what you want from the things you're doing now. Then, you can answer to the rest of the other complicated stuffs"

Ok bye.

2011-11-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

Flea Market

2011-11-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

Langit begitu gelap, hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan cintaku terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin ku ulang hari, ingin ku perbaiki
Kau salah, kau kubutuhkan
Beraninya kau pergi dan tak kembali

Dimana letak surga itu
Biar kugantikan tempatmu denganku
Adakah tanda surga itu
Biar kutemukan untuk bersamamu

Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku
Percuma ku ada disini

2011-11-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

I shall back off now

This is heart breaking.
He questioned me, why.
He questioned me alot of other things.
I just couldn't answer on that minute itself and I found myself hanging, with no answers.

Because if you're still stuck there
I will let you.

I know where I stand.
My friends still need me.
But you don't.

2011-11-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

You were surprised I didn't contact her about it?
If you know me, I hold a very simple principle here.
"For my problems. If you ask, I will tell. If you don't, I wont."

It seems that, you don't know me at all.
Not at all.

Bad habit?
So you're suggesting that letting it all out like a barbarian to another person and have them look at him/her(the person you're having problems with) as a very bad person, is the better way?
I'm asking. Not assuming. Like you always do.

I didn't even contact you people for more than a month.
What more do you want with me?
Because frankly, I do not have the slightest thought of you people.
I don't even mention about you people in both cyber and reality.
Face it, I don't even THINK of you people.

Cut this short.
I apologised and I did nothing already after the incident.
You didn't wanna accept my apology, that's your problem.
Don't drag me in your problems coz, I don't wanna bother about it.
You find me contradicting?
Oh well well... Look who's talking?
What am I talking about?
Ask yourself.

I am still human.
I made mistakes and will still do.
If you think you're that perfect.
Look at yourself from head to toe, are you worth for me to keep?

Because I keep people who don't think they are perfect, who admits to their mistakes, who dare take risks, but they are happy about it.
They are living life and yes, I do have a big number of friends.
All of them are very different, own their own mistakes and secrets, including lies.

Think about it
If they lie to keep the relationship alive, I find no harm in that.
I will be hurt, but if they are sincere, I accept that.
But if they lie and toy around with my feelings, I will provide the biggest rejection to them.
Say, like breaking my trust? :)

I mix around.
I learn all the time on the different people and outcomes out there.
Expanding my group of friends and mainly, my mindset.
Do you?

Call me names for all I care.
If you know me, I always say that.
And I mean it all the time.

Sorry if my friends' words affected you.
It really did affect you. Just look at how much you actually brutally described me as.
Because they are very protective of me.
They know how much of a bitch I can be.
To them, I am never perfect. Still, they protect me.

Oh by the way,
I didn't bother much about what you said about me.
Apparently, I didn't know my bestfriend did that.
Until he called me to tell me about what he did.
If you don't believe me, if you think I'm just a very good liar.
Then so be it.
Coz, pfft!
What do I care about what you think about me, anyway?
hahahahaha!

Ok bye.

2011-10-29T01:42:00.000-07:00

What's here, stays here.
What's in twitter, stays in twitter.
What's in facebook, stays in facebook.
What's in the house, stays in the house!
Problems I mean.
Hahaha!

Oh wells
Winnie is home.
But gotta send her back on Monday.
:(

I get caught up by plans that I didnt foresee anything would happen
Moron much?
Yeah.

We should choose who we trust and me being too nice
I sucked it all in and tada! Backstabbed.

Quite the cycle you see
Yet I am still persistent to it.
I wonder..

And so
Momma got into depression yesterday
Never was she in depression
Okay, ONCE
That was when she was pregnant with my younger sister 14 years back.

To the extend she rant it in facebook and all the daughters just got, confused.
Yeah.
I was thinking too, you see
With the situation at work
Yeah, I went out for a search again, for the missing kid.
*haiz.

I called her up and asked.
She, at first refused to say anything until I just persuaded her to
A million times of persuasion.
Mother mah.

Supposedly going for a friend's birthday party but I let that one off coz of my momma.
I wanna know how she's doing coz what she did, ranting in facebook, is so off the course.
Told bestfriend Im not going because Im very worried of momma and he understands.

Got home to see her very quiet.
Not good.
She's NEVER quiet.
See my face, sure got something to say.

I went out again, bought her favourite ice cream and gave it to her.
Voila! I see a smile over there.
:)
Then, she started crying buckets.

You see, the real catch over here is
My siblings are working adults.
Except for the last one, still in secondary one.
We are rarely at home and sometimes, things happen and we're just not in time to be there to witness it.
So then when she starts to rant LIKE THAT, something is REALLY wrong.
And yeah, something was REALLY wrong.

Both my elder sisters and I just shoved everything aside and listened to her rantings.
She cried and cried and cried.
Omg.
I contained my anger for the problem and keep composure to listen to her.

I didnt talk to bestfriend in the night like the usuals.
Thanks for the understanding Son.

My leg still aches because I literally ran home.
Ran from work to bus stop, from bus stop to home.
I didnt took the train so the distance is quite, a distance?
ahahahha!

oh wells.
Introducing, my momma.
The one person who beat me up, though Im 21 currently.
The one person who spill hot boiling water on me when Im sleeping.
The one person who I always get annoyed by.
The one person who possesses the heart, I always wanna impress.

Weird?
No..
I know most kids out there just rebel when their parents do this to them.
I know someone who does.
But to me,
She's still human with emotions, temper and all that stuffs we other humans have.

ok bye

2011-10-27T07:31:00.001-07:00

http://zodiac-traits.com/leo-man-scorpio-woman.html

Some parts happened so I find most of it to be true.
Oh wells.

I shouldnt have raised the cup to my lips in the first place.

2011-10-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'm stuck with writing songs
Just to forget
What they really were about
And these words are bringing me so deeply insane
That I don't think I can take my way out

I couldn't breathe through it
Like I need to and the words don't mean a thing

So I'll sing this song to you
For the last time
And my heart is torn in two
Thinking of days spent without you
And there is nothing left to prove

I'm counting all the things I could have done
To make you see
That I wanted us to be what I go to sleep and dream of
I want you to know that I'd die for you
I'd die for you

2011-10-27T07:24:00.001-07:00

2011-10-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

It has never been easy just to pick myself up.
I admit, I did alot of mistakes on the run.
Still, I admit to the people themselves.

Humans
Never satisfied with whatever they have.

I am not going to say much here but the main intention I have on posting this is

I have done something that will affect me greatly
Affect my progress all these while, I mean
I managed to be myself again
I am not afraid to show anyone on my characteristics

There are many people out there who loves to judge
For example,
Seeing a young couple together, married.
Stereotype has it that the female is pregnant with the guy's baby.
But answer this, what if, they are a married couple with no children.
Yes, they are young but answer to this.

These stereotyping just gotta stop already.
I mean, it brings stupidity to you to even think badly of a stranger who did nothing to you.

Recently, I saw a woman in hijab, smoking.
I said nuts when she looked at me.
I just, smiled. Apparently, she smiled back.
She did no harm to me though I am sensitive to Muslims who wore hijab but didnt really take care of their image.
But oh well, thats just her.
She was smoking, not talking loudly like a barbarian or squabbling physically with someone in public.
I let it go.
She is old enough to be very well aware of what she was doing.

My point is
Stop assuming so much.
Stop counting the good things you've done and expect the other party to do the same or better.

The more you do these
Nothing good will come to you.

Especially in this cyber world
Whatever comments we made and unfortunately, we have someone who just dislike us.
They will start assuming that we are actually posting things indirectly directing to him/her.

What can you do?
You know you did nothing of that kinda intention
Let it go.

Let them judge you, criticize you, talk about you
You don't stoop as low and do the same.

I admit I have done something somewhat similar to that.
I did apologise and admitted it but when I think about it now
That person just wouldn't wanna accept it, there is nothing else I can do.
Though for my case, I was actually letting out my disagreements on someone's actions in a very harsh manner to another person
Just because I was filled with alot of angst
I trusted that person so much, that I didn't think my messages would be passed around for the others to see.

With great disdain, if you gotta leave
Take your step and leave.

But if you wanna keep assuming, people.
Then so be it.

2011-10-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle
A mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life
-Paramore

You know what?
Best of luck to you.

2011-10-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's not that I'm hooked onto these zodiacs readings.
It's that when I read this fully earlier today, I found that 97% of these are true.
I don't know about you, but this is the thing.
Especially for the ones that I've bold in.

Read the whole thing, do not stop until you're done.
Nothing comes clear if you execute something halfway.
That is exactly why, I hate half-ways.

The SCORPIO Woman

"Consider anything only don't cry . . ."

The female Scorpio has a deep, mysterious beauty. She's magnetic, proud and totally confident. But she has one secret regret. She was not born a man.

I can almost feel the heat from here when Pluto women hear about that revelation. There's not a Scorpio female alive who doesn't think she's all woman, and you may wonder what I'm talking about yourself, if you're in love with one. This girl certainly has enough glamour, and she's enormously seductive. But I didn't say she looked like a boy, nor did I intend to imply she doesn't do a bang-up job of being a female. It's just that, unconsciously, she would prefer to be a man. Less restriction-more opportunity. It's the one secret she even hides from herself, and seeing it exposed won't sit well with her.

Once the Scorpio girl has figured out the difference between blue booties and pink booties, she'll resign herself to wearing the pink ones, because she's fabulous at making the best out of a situation. But pink is not her natural color. The true shade of her nature is dark maroon, or deep wine-red, not a female color at all. However, to give her proper tribute, she's able to make you think it is. I know one who's great at pretending to be a fragile, fluffy kitten. She purrs so contentedly most men guess she's an ultra-feminine Piscean. They topple into her trap and wake up later, sadder but wiser. She is no kitten.

Scorpio women have a scornful contempt for members of their sex who flop in the roles of sweetheart, wife and mother, once they're stuck with the parts. A Pluto girl will control her desire to dominate, while she gives a glorious performance of womanhood, and she'll do it with more finest than the masculine Aries, Leo or Sagittarius girl. At least she'll do it during courtship. There may be a few cases when the unsuspecting male gets a rude surprise after he shakes the rice out of his shoes and the illusions out of his eyes. Unlike the Mars female, for example, a Scorpio will subdue her drive and magnetize a man with the heavy perfume of her exotic glance as she allows him to use his lighter to ignite her cigarette. That's far sexier than aggressively striking a match herself and blowing the smoke in his face, and she knows it. She knows lots more. Another girl might rush headlong into your arms and shout her love from the rooftops. The Scorpio girl walks toward you slowly, seductively, and silently delivers her private message. It's puzzling, but these women can look seductive in jeans, jodhpurs or basketball shoes. Maybe it's her husky voice that creates the image. I know one who wore a baseball cap (honest) the entire time her future husband was courting her, and she spent a lot of time talking about batting averages. But she was as seductive as Mata Hari just the same, and she got her man. (He was hypnotized, as usual.)

You can give her a tumble, but she won't fall all over herself reacting to your overtures. Don't expect her to bat long, sweeping eyelashes at you, and adore you with blind devotion. Lots of female Scorpios are tomboys with stubby eyelashes. Besides, with those beautiful, mysterious eyes that can read your mind so clearly, she doesn't need any extra trimming. Whisper something romantic that would melt another girl out of her senses, and the Scorpio girl will simply give you an intense, penetrating look that will see right straight through to your real intentions. She's a human X-ray machine, so don't flirt. Unless you mean business, you're wasting her time and insulting her. I wouldn't advise you to insult a Scorpio. It's just not healthy. If you don't know what I mean, ask someone who has. He may have some stories to tell that will curl your hair.

I'm well aware that this dangerous femme fatale can hide her power of retaliation with a tremulous smile, gentle mannerisms, and the most breathless voice this side of an angel. But astrologers are expected to be up on these things. It's more important for you to be well aware. After all, you're the one who's seeking to tame her-or protect yourself against her-whichever. Probably both.

You can be sure that heaven certainly has no fury like that of a Scorpio woman who's lost her normal steady control over those inward, seething, Pluto emotions. She can be overbearing and domineering, sarcastic and frigid- then turn as hot as an oven at 500 degrees Fahrenheit. She can hate with bitter venom and love with fierce abandon. She can shriek like a furious banshee or whisper like an affectionate turtle dove. One thing you can be sure of- she's never wishy-washy.

The Scorpio woman has a disconcerting gift that can make icy shivers run up your spine. It's a peculiar form of black magic, and she weaves it so expertly it can seem like real witchcraft. You have very little chance to escape, once her eyes meet yours. Because of her mystical sixth sense, she can often recognize a future mate at first glance, and somehow, she'll transfer this perception instantly. You'll have one of two reactions. You'll be hopelessly caught in her spell, and down you'll go, in a dizzy spin toward surrender, or you'll be scared right out of your socks, and feel like running for help. What's your rush? Stay around awhile. You might find out what life is all about. She knows. And she'll teach you. Anyway, you should be flattered that she considers you worth that strange gaze. A Scorpio woman can't excuse weakness in a man. She looks for ambition and courage. She wants a mate who can dominate her and make her proud, without disturbing her secret individuality. He's expected to be strong, masculine and better-looking than average. A high degree of intelligence is required to match her own excellent mind, plus more than a passing acquaintance with abstract, philosophical wisdom. So put your socks back on and practice a superior smirk. Everybody you know will think you're pretty super to have her staring at you. The men and women both. It could open new vistas, when you think about it. Your personal stock should zoom several points higher than it was before she noticed you.

Having once achieved closeness with a female Scorpio, you can be positive you're a unique and unusual man. You can also be sure that her love for you is unmatched by any you'll ever experience-and you can take that in several ways. You'll be the most important interest in her life. If she's a typical Pluto girl, she'll boost you loyally, and try to please you with passionate intensity. If you're too hard to please, she'll show her frustration with passionate attempts to conquer your disinterest.

The word "passionate" probably caught your eye. Most men have heard exciting rumors about the passion of November females. It's true. She's brimming over inside with passion, though it's kept under rigid control by a poised, frosty attitude toward strangers, and a surface smoothness suggestive of black velvet. But the male sex is too inclined to relate passion strictly to romantic action; and that's selling her short, because Pluto's definition of the word is far more encompassing. It's involved with her feelings about everything she touches. She's never just slightly interested. It's impossible for her to be detached or casual. She seldom likes or dislikes a play, a book, religion, furniture or people. She either bitterly resents or she intensely worships. If one of these two passions can't be aroused, then she totally ignores, with ice around the edges. Yet, through it all, she'll remain essentially untouched by emotional storms, judging at least from her placid exterior, which always drapes itself around her after each minor or major nuclear explosion. It may be difficult to convince your mother-in-law that her daughter really broke all those dishes and tore all those draperies to shreds after the fury has subsided and her black velvet poise has returned. People may look at you as if you're a character assassinator. What do you mean? Shame on you, accusing that cool, controlled, lovely girl of such a temper. You have my sympathy, if that's any help.

She has such fabulous virtues, you might know her vices wouldn't be skimpy, either. So think about her good points. All right, then, think about her good points after that lump on your head has healed.

Because she's drawn to investigation of the shadows, she may at first seem to be tempting, forbidden fruit, and the deep, strange expression in her eyes intensifies the impression. It's true that the Scorpio girl sometimes wanders into dangerous waters in her efforts to penetrate life, and since there's not the slightest trace of fear in her (unless she has an affliction to her Moon, and is full of nameless terrors), her search may indeed take her into some weird byways. But the typical Scorpio will emerge from any discovery still strong and pure. If she allows the journey to soil her inner spirit, Pluto will punish her with anguished remorse and guilt; yet she can still call on her great strength of character to rise again, like the phoenix, from the ashes of her experiments. In Kahlil Gibran's writings, the Prophet replies, in answer to a question about Evil, "Of the Good in you I can speak, but not of the Evil. For what is Evil but Good-tortured by its own hunger and thirst? When Good is hungry, it seeks food, even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters." A perfect description of Scorpio.

She may have been a fascinated spectator to a million human foibles, and she may have tasted a variety of experiences to savor the knowledge. But she can mysteriously emerge from all her explorations above suspicion, and still superior to almost every other woman you know. She could be the keeper of quite a few secrets. It's surprising how many dark deeds are confessed to Scorpios, though their own inner lives are marked: "Private-Keep Out." She likes to hear secrets, but she'll seldom tell anything anyone has confided in her, not even to you (unless there's an afflicted Mercury in her natal chart). You can also expect her to have a stack of secrets that relate to her personally, and don't try to pry them out of her. There's a private part to this woman you'll never touch, a part of her mind and soul that belongs strictly to her, and there's absolutely no trespassing there. She's not untruthful, in fact she's more often too brutally honest, yet there will always be those special thoughts and feelings she won't confide to you or anyone else.

A Scorpio woman will be incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance. Her dignity in human relationships can make her seem aloof and snobbish. In a way, she definitely is, because she practices a personal caste system, and it's more clearly marked than that of her Leo and Capricorn sisters. All Scorpios are highly selective in friendships. They'll keep the worthy companions through an entire lifetime, and freeze the shallow, the common or the unworthy. There's an immense store of perseverance and determination buried in the nature of a Scorpio woman, and any time she chooses, she can call on these to help her master the excesses which may tempt her, from drink and drugs to self-destructive, ruthless revenge and dangerous depression. Sooner or later, she'll probably investigate some form of the occult, and ancient mysteries and unseen worlds will eventually have her respect, though Scorpios can range all the way from religious fervor to total atheism during a lifetime.

A Scorpio woman need not be a legal wife to give wifely love and devotion. If circumstances beyond your control make marriage impossible, she'll love you from hell to breakfast, and not give a hang what the neighbors think. In most such unusual situations, the relationship is real and honest above and beyond the shallow, selfish love of many a legitimate marriage. The hypocrisies of society will never keep this courageous woman from seeking the sun. She answers to no law but her own, and in her Pluto heart, she has more total understanding of the vow "till death do us part" than half the brides who blissfully murmur the phrase.

.Despite her own strong individualism, the typical Scorpio girl will let her man be the boss. Instead of overshadowing him with her force and drive, she'll apply her talents to help him attain his goals. Your future will be important to her, and she's not likely to insist on retaining her own career after marriage (unless you've disappointed her deeply or a second job is needed in a temporary domestic crisis). She may fight you wildly in private, but she'll defend you fiercely in public. She won't stand for anyone maligning you or taking advantage of you. Those who try will feel the lash of her righteous anger. Your happiness will always come first. Unless there are adverse aspects to her Sun sign or ascendant in her natal chart, she'll patiently help you persevere until you get what you want, and while you're getting it, she won't whine or complain or become restless, though she might turn a little bitter if you lose your courage on the way. She'll expect you to aim as high as your abilities will reach. Anything less may bring on some pretty sarcastic taunts and reproaches, especially if she has an afflicted Mercury.

Scorpio women love their homes, which usually shine with cleanliness, taste and comfort. Meals are served on time, and things are generally under control. If the opposite is true, something is making her mighty unhappy, because her natural inclination is to beauty and system. To the typical Scorpio woman spring cleaning is like vacation. They love to dig into comers to see what they can find. Just be careful she doesn't find any cryptic notes that smell of perfume in your old jacket pockets when she's clearing out the closets. Scorpio is unreasonably suspicious, even when there's no basis for suspicion, so you can imagine what happens when she finds a real clue to possible infidelity. Picture the shape of a mushroom cloud and you'll get a general idea of what may happen, figuratively speaking. It's no good being suspicious of her, no matter how many opportunities arise; and there will be a goodly number of them, because she never exposes her deepest feelings. Naturally, this can arouse a few questions on your part. Just swallow them, along with the lump in your throat. Like that locked chest or drawer she's had since childhood, certain things about her are off limits. It will get you nowhere to probe. I realize fully that it isn't fair. So does she. But that doesn't change things a bit. That's the way it is. Take her or leave her. You'll probably take her. It's almost impossible to leave her. If nothing else, she'll haunt you the rest of your life. Adjusting to the idiosyncrasies of her nature is easier than suffering the nightmares that will surely result if you walk away. No one walks away from a Scorpio. Not really. Didn't you know that? Those who have tried can educate you. Anyway, you have a very special woman.

As much as she needs the security of home roots, shell move if it's necessary to your career, and without any visible flinching at the uprooting. She makes an excellent wife for an army or navy man and a real jewel for a politician. There's no one she can't see through, no deception that escapes her. A Scorpio woman can tell you exactly who can be trusted and which ones you have to watch. The Pisces wife has the same ability, but she may be too soft to criticize, too ready to make excuses for the failings of others. Not so the Scorpio female. In fact, she may frequently have to check her sharp tongue and tone down her brutal analysis.

In the budget department, Scorpio women are completely unpredictable. She can scrimp and save and pinch a penny until it bends double, then have a sudden spell of being magnificently extravagant. One thing is sure. She'll enjoy money, whether she saves it in an old shoe or spends it on luxury. But this woman always leans heavily toward prestige, and she won't let cash compromise that. She'll be satisfied if you choose a smaller income, as long as it insures that you are your own boss, with the potential to rise to become somebody of influence, Scorpio females like power, and they will sacrifice much for it. Your power will do, because Pluto allows her to be adept at living vicariously through others when it suits her. Remember that although she'll sacrifice and put up with very little for a planned goal, she's too proud to live amid shabby surroundings forever, and she'll become mighty sour and discontented if she's forced to do so for an unreasonable length of time. She'll either try to force a change in the family fortunes after a certain period, or she'll gradually retreat into the dismal world of the gray lizard, outwardly accepting and almost seeming to enjoy poverty, but inwardly intensely bitter.

She'll be possessive but she won't want to be possessed. One of the worst traits of both male and female Scorpios is a refusal to see any viewpoint but their own when the emotions are involved. It takes weeks of introspection to bring them around to a semblance of humility. Her natural interest in the opposite sex, even if it remains platonic, may give you as much reason to be jealous of her as she is of you. She'll probably fascinate every male in sight on occasion, and you may have to sit by while they're mesmerized. It seldom leads to anything serious, but it can cause some uncomfortable moments. It can also lead to some explosive disagreements. In the heat of battle, it pays to remember that her compulsion to even the score usually makes her the winner in any kind of skirmish. She gets the last word. If you tell her a lie, she may tell two. If you stubbornly refuse to kiss her good-bye in the morning after a tiff, she may refuse to kiss you goodnight for a month. Just let your mother (or anybody's mother) criticize her cooking, and the Scorpio woman may forget to invite her to dinner for several Sundays in a row. An accidental injury, however, she'll forgive, if she knows it's unintentional. The Scorpio sense of justice is as strong as the sense of revenge. Most people forget this. She'll remember every kindness and give you back double for that, too. It works both ways.

With the children, her expression of love may lack a certain tenderness and open demonstration, but the youngsters will probably sense her deep devotion and feel emotionally secure anyway. A Scorpio mother won't let the talents of her children go unnoticed or gather dust. She'll spend many an hour encouraging them toward higher goals, and be willing to provide any support they need. Her offspring will find her strong and helpful when youthful problems arise, because her knowledge of human nature makes her a wise counselor. She'll teach them to meet difficulties with her own courage. But she can be bund to their faults, an attitude which can naturally cause a lot of trouble if it isn't recognized and checked in time. Anyone she imagines is a threat to the happiness of her children, in any way, however small, will be crushed, and I'm afraid that includes her husband. She won't appreciate it if he's stricter with them than she thinks he ought to be.

A Scorpio woman will sometimes nearly drown you in her passion for living, yet in a real storm, her cool, calm reason and steely strength will be a life raft. Though she works her magic in strange and secret ways, her haunting eyes will always gaze at you with basic honesty, even while she remains just beyond the reach of human understanding. She's a little dangerous, perhaps, but undeniably exciting. Let other husbands cope with the flighty girls. You've known the compelling mystery of a lovely witch who brews a pretty good cup of tea and never bums your toast. (Well, almost never.) When the cup is empty, let her read the tea leaves for you. She can-if she wants to.

You mean you didn't know? I told you there are things she keeps to herself....

Credits:

http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/scorpio.htm

2011-10-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Please
Nowadays, everything works through mobile.
Almost everything

But yeah, the annoying part is
Are there any apps out there, ALIVE, that can work on desktops now?
Seriously.
Enlighten me.

Oh dear god.
This is greatly testing my patience.

Oh newsflash,
Don't say things you don't mean.
Yes I don't trust you.

Another newsflash,
I feel extremely awkward when nowadays, I'm looking for clothes instead of gadgets.
I feel that I have been alien-ite.

Oh another newsflash,
I'm having cramps and of course, I do not tolerate nonsense.
Go dig your own space and go on tolerate yourself.

2011-10-12T00:42:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get this moment when everything just came back to mind and you feel the same exact hurt all over again?
I do.

It figures that when these things happen, its actually out to test you once again.
Whether or not, you're still helplessly lying on the floor, or you have finally stood up and face all odds.

Either way
I am having this moment now.

Frankly, I am very close to being there, my target.
Interrupted again.
Like how it happened before.
But c'mon, the bigger picture here is,
Nothing will go smoothly.
Everything will have its hurdles.

If you think I love being like this.
You are very wrong.
I've implement a lot of force to push myself forward
I've been hiding a million of thoughts and emotions.
I am happier.

Im easy to decipher.
I won't be satisfied with anything done halfway.
Be it, speech, plans, actions, promises, explanations, arguments and so on and so forth.
End it once it's started.
Properly.

Well
Its a never ending war.
Never ending.

Why is it that,
Everytime when I'm around you
Everything comes out like word vomit
And those 'everything' came from my own tattered heart.

2011-10-08T01:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Children's Day!

The one beside me (left in green) always give those kinda expression in photos. No kidding! Though he's the only one who always follow me around. BUT, the naughtiest too. -_-

Dont mind the finger. My student took this photo. (above)

One of my ex students who came back and stayed for awhile. The ones that came back are all the smart ones. See the teacher la. hahaha!

As you can see
No videos yet
Friend borrowed my camcorder and I'll wait until I get it back and I will make the video.
:)

Children's day
As you can see too
My class consists of most boys and very little number of girls.
5? 6?
Out of 20.
Yeah.
They will not hesitate to disturb me during the photo taking
As you can see in the photos.
Alright

So far so good.
Life have been quite the topsy turvy mode
But I can hold on.
I make mistakes too you know.
I am not always right too.

Mmkay bye

2011-10-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

2011-10-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through my print screen photos when I bumped into this.

Introducing my buddy.
Boy.

I laughed out loud when I read this convo.
HAHAHAHA!
So noob!

This was very long ago.
Somewhere in June 2009.
There's a few of our convo I kept.
I realized my reasons was because, he was that DAMN Noob!
hahaha!

After those days, everything changed.

2011-10-02T08:17:00.001-07:00

2011-10-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

Halamak! Mak aku peh suara, aku blast lagu pon tetap boleh dengar.
Bagaikan sihir suaranya
Menusuk kalbu.
*englay mode*

Oh wells
Tell me, when was the last time I went out to hang out and I brought my laptop along?
Well, the recent one is now.
:)

That guy in the above picture is Awi..
Yeah, that ugly-expression faced guy.
hahaha!
I went to Tekka with him coz I need to look for Henna since my business is all about it.
A friend worth keeping. I told him I wanna go there, though that place was crowded and weather was scorching hot, he endured coz I must find the Henna with the best quality.
Haha! his remarks when I told him I wanna go Tekka went something like this,
"Na! Kau buat aku trip sak tiba tiba. Ape cite kau nak pi tekka na?"

My life consists alot of turning points now.
Nevertheless, Im still busy and my schedules are rocking baby!
To the extend I have no time to edit my videos!
hahaha!

No, Im not a workaholic.
Im a businesswoman
That is why Ive been busy.
Newsflash!

There is a video that I was SUPPOSED to upload but I forgot all about it.
It kept aborting! Youtube on Firefox is killing me.
Using Chrome now. In hopes that it wont abort.
*prays hard*

Turning points aye?
I have a topic I wanna talk about and make a video of it.
Maybe I will make it tomorrow.
Oh wells.

Tell me,
Do you prefer a big quantity of friends or a small quantity of very close friends?
Acquaintanceship, Friendships, Relationships

Pertaining to yesterday's incident
Look, if you're embarassed on what you have done, its not an acceptable reason to do that to me. Wait, its not fit to be a reason too.

Oh, my facebook's almost equivalent to dead.
Should I revamp it?
Or deactivate?
Ive been on twitter like an addict.
hahahaha!

The ones who stay with you and become your companions.

Ok bye

2011-09-17T04:01:00.000-07:00

Today is not over yet..

Hmm..
I feel like laughing at you now.
But I shouldn't bother much..

This blog has been in for a different purpose.
Going back to the main purpose?

Here is the latest update.
Just now
I went to the shop to do some 'shopping' for my younger sister
Then, there was this aunty who walked pass me and she hit me.
I mean, by accident of course, but no apology.
So I indirectly said to her towards my sister in a low voice tone, "Jalan pass orang tak payah nak langgar kan" (There is no need to hit that person when you're walking pass them right)
Took that aunty a few minutes to digest that (lambat load) , and she scolded me, from far.
ahahha!
Salah orang.. ni part aku tak kasi muka.
Like Im the one who hit her?
If she hit me by accident and its only a bit, I dont mind.
My lips will be sealed.
But noo... it was hard enough for me to turn 90degrees.

She wasnt satisfied and she scolded me, "Lu fikir wa tak faham apa lu cakap tadi?!" (You think I dont understand what you said just now?!)
I said back, "Kalau da faham tu bagos la!" (Its good that you understand!)
She replied back, "Wa tak langgar lu, lu cakap wa langgar lu,. Wa nampak wa jalan sebelah lu tadi wa tak langgar!" (I didnt hit you and you said I did. I saw I walked pass you and I didnt hit you!"
Member da mengamok pe? hahaha!
I replied, "Lu nampak? Abeh siapa tadi langgar wa? Hantu?!" ( You saw? Then who hit me just now? Ghost?!)
Then she kept on blabbering and cutting in my speech.
My natural instinct, I ALWAYS wait for the other party to stop talking then I will say my piece. But noo.. This aunty blabbered non-stop.
So her friend was saying, "Dont fight la.. enough la dont fight la"
I told her friend, "You tell her to relax first. Who's the one who start it first. I wasnt talking to her in the first place."
Then that aunty came and cut in again, "Lu cakap melayu lu fikir wa tak faham?! Lu mau orang tak langgar lu pergi orchard la. Lu fikir lu pakai lawa lawa wa takot?" (You thought you spoke in malay I dont understand? You dont want people to hit you, you go orchard. You think you dress up Im afraid?"

Part tu aku kekek.
TAKDE LINK!!
hahaha!
I replied back, "Lu jangan banyak bising la. Wa pakai lawa lawa itu wa punya pasal. Wa pergi orchard memang takda orang mau langgar wa. Lu mau langgar orang, lu pergi tu Orchard. Ada ramai orang! hahahha!" (You dont talk much. I dress up is my problem. I go to Orchard, nobody will hit me. You wanna hit people, you go orchard. Theres alot of people! hahaha!)
The friend budged in and say, "Aiya.. dont fight la.."
The aunty kept on blabbering things I DONT UNDERSTAND AT ALL.
No kidding
Until I said, "Lu relax boleh tak? Okay fine la lu tak langgar wa! Hantu yang langgar wa. Happy? Sudahlah, lu balik sualah!" (Can you just relax? Okay fine you didnt hit me! Ghosts did! Happy? Enough, you better go home!)

My rude tone was very audible. Until her friend brought her to somewhere else, she still came around to look for me.
KEKEK!
What more does she want?!
Then I said back, "Lu salah orang la aunty. Lu brani lu datang sini marah wa. Jangan jerit jerit dari sana!" (Wrong person la aunty. If you're brave you come here to me and scold me. Not shout to me from far!)
My sister was telling me to calm down already.
She was afraid already but at that time, I was still keeping my cool.
Aunty punyer pasal, I just gave her my sharp-tongue treatment.

Okay la
You dont wanna admit, to you you're not wrong, then get a move on already.
Why still come around and find fault with me?
Like im the one who hit her?
hahaha!

Then I made the payment for my sister's stuff and we went off.

Oh well
People was looking at me when I raised my voice.
I dont give a damn, actually.

2011-09-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

Excursion till 1pm.

Some sort
I can just go straight to bed once I step foot into my house.
No kidding.
My shift today at work is 7am to 7pm.
12 hours in total and Ive been awake since 4am.
Crazy..
I even slept at 1am.
So, equivalent to me being a zombie right now.

I have videos to edit
Yet, I could not find the time to do it just yet.
Tmr is gonna be jam pack for me.
Seriously, I think I will be rushing from a place to another for the whole day.
Oh dear god.
He wants to meet me, she wants to meet me, they want to meet me, I have to send orders of meals, I have company event too. *faints*

For starters,
I am loving my life right now.
Achieving all the things that Ive been wanting.
This time, Im free.
Im free to do whatever I want.
Whatever dreams I have, I am going to accomplish it.
I am not going to back down either. :)

Im not typical but sure am not the only kind living on this earth.
I still cannot figure out what type of a person I am.

Only one I know of myself
I am the one person you will meet
Who knows how to live and survive on my own.
I dont care if no one is going to help me, I will still find my way.
And, I always do.

2011-09-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

Once again you're home alone
Tears running from your eyes

Everything same old thing
So used to feeling pain

She knows better but she can't help it

How do you heal a heart that can't feel
Its broken
His love is all she knows

----------------------------------------
His love is all I know
Im sorry, I don't think I am capable anymore

2011-09-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

Hi!
In the paramore video, you can clearly hear my bestfriend's scream.
Its very audible!

ok bye

2011-09-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Its Hari Raya!
Without further ado,
Wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

I do sound very much excited about it aye?
Not really you see
I went out with my family on the first day and today is the third day.
Didnt at all go out to celebrate for the second n third day.
Well, yeah.
Still, its a tradition that I wont run away from.
I gotta admit, the joy is still there. Though not so much.

The clan is planning to go out together
Just like old times.
Its been years since we went out together to celebrate it.
hmm..
Miss those moments.

Its not that we're breaking apart
Its because we are bigger now.
Seriously, the family just got bigger.

Good news is
Im not working tomorrow because its Teacher's Day!
It was the celebration today and Ive got alot of gifts.
Very touched with their words and their 'attempt' to surprise me.
Very sweet of them.

Another issue I wanna bring out is,
I have this issue that I always get myself into trouble
Not the crime type trouble
The trouble whereby I will always get into this one very confused state.
I know Im not that nice, you see.
But somehow why people love to get to me, to help?
Maybe these are hallucinations but I cant help to think that, they are asking something bigger in return.
But what?
Mind games yeah?
Hates

Oh well
Something good may happen, maybe not.
This time, I wont budge to let my guard down.
Be safe than sorry.

Ive been trying to upload a video on youtube for three days straight already.
At least twice per day.
But still, the process kept aborting itself and I think my patience is running out on this.
But I still wanna upload it!
hahahaha!

Thats all for now
Bye

2011-08-23T09:41:00.001-07:00

2011-08-23T08:23:00.001-07:00

2011-08-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

The eve of Ramadhan

2011-08-23T05:37:00.001-07:00

Y-Fest 2011

2011-08-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

I delayed the wishing of "Happy Fasting" till now
Almost the end of the month already.
HAHA!

Edited and uploading now. Toodles!

2011-08-19T09:00:00.001-07:00

I know..
My blog has been abandoned for quite some time already.
Got videos all inside my desktop but none are already edited.
Believe it when I say I am busy.

So, I manage to take this time off to at least update this blog in words rather than videos.
(So much for wanting to make it into a vlog aye?)
But still progressing!

Ive been reading posts on this Singaporean youtuber, Dee Kosh
In two different blogs, to be exact.
I do agree that he is rather, didnt filter his words BUT, i still find him funny.
Maybe because I wasnt victimised like XX.
Which I think.... ( no comments )

To be back on track with life is fun.
Looking on the positive side, I am happy to have people around me
More of 'em
But looking on the negative side, I still hold grudges.
Why oh why?!

Though right now
I am still putting myself into trouble
NOT on purpose
I realize that I actually am *fill in the blanks* kinda person.
So... hooray(?)

Not looking forward for the festive season, Hari Raya
Bores me
Didn't like it much since I was 17
Coz that is when I realize, its really nothing
When I got on the surface of the many conflicts
I backed off until I reached 17
Plastics
Though its the 'right' thing (claimed to them) to do.

So, Hari Raya?
Im looking forward to it coz its a holiday
NOT the visiting
Seriously
I don't get that glee-ful feeling anymore
I mean, whats the point?

Someone tried to make it worthwhile last year
It didnt work
His friends were fun
Not him
I do not wanna go on that.

Somehow this year
I shall give it a shot again with the boys to actually enjoy it.

Other than that
This fasting month is kinda challenging

Im very thankful that I received orders for my pastries from many
:)
Equals to more time at home baking.
But its okay, coz I love to do this.

Enjoy fasting month, then comes Hari Raya, then comes the dullness too.

ok bye

2011-07-23T22:20:00.001-07:00

2011-07-23T21:32:00.001-07:00

2011-07-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

Time checked : 5.04am
(Don't trust the timing published at the bottom of my every posts. It lies all the time)
Here's the catch
I'm not asleep yet
*runs around*

Going to go pray and then, snore
And wake up at 8am because I got errands to run

Nyet!

You can't always protect your heart. Sometimes, the only way to be safe is to open it
-@weeatquotes

2011-07-23T13:29:00.001-07:00

The first ever

2011-07-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

Made: November 2009

Brings back memories

2011-07-22T04:37:00.000-07:00

A woman has many insecurities.
From the tip of their toe to the end of their hair strands.
From the split ends of her hair to the busted nail on her toe.
Every single one matters.
One defect, the whole thing changes.
Quite?

Well.
A woman's crown is her tresses.
Changing the style changes their image, changes their personality and style.
This blog is full of weird stuffs.
Random notes that just, comes to mind.

The issue now is
I type better than I explain.
I am much more long winded.
LOL

So, it explains that I chopped off a part of my hair.
It was, sure, long.
I had it shortened a few days ago.
Apparently, it got better.
No more hair falls.

A video is in the process of uploading on youtube.
Not everything will be recorded through my camcorder.
Sometimes, I will just rant here.

P.S
It is fun taking videos of myself talking about anything, in public. The looks of the passengers in the train are the best. hahaha!

2011-07-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I've been long gone from this Kpop world
I even lost alot of my knowledge on the language

Now that Im back
I saw all the new girl groups.
One word
Pecah! Habis berderai.
In english, it simply means
In direct translation : Broken, shattered to pieces
In translation by meaning : Totally cannot make it

I spotted similar dance/performance techniques and choreography
The songs are just not up to standard.
Seriously, I still can listen to SNSD's Into the New World

Oh well

Editing videos now
And its really not easy
Nah, not the editing being difficult
Its my concentration on it
I kept doing something else and I havent even edit it yet
Only 2% done.
Nyaha!
Its as good as 0%.

Okay bye

2011-07-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

My blog has been, abandoned?
Quite.
Not.

Because it is very unlikely of me to not update it for more than 2 days, most.

Updates.

Blog:
Soon to upload a video for the FIRST Vlog ever.
hee!

Work:
Busy all the way till my leg hurts coz I kept walking in and out of the class and school.
But, Im lovin' it.
My kids has been behaving coz, my partner is no more around and that I am alone now.
Equivalent to, discipline discipline discipline
Coz everything will go to how it was
How I set it to be before.
So, knowing the kids are afraid of me being furious
They take care of my temper, well.
My kids can do it.
The ex has no patience for it at all.

Problems:
Still the same.
Hasn't change abit.
Seems to be that others' problem has been made mine.
Nah..
Im not the type to 'jaga tepi kain orang' and be such busybody asking about every single mishaps my friends have.
Unlike some aunties I know. Get a life please. Your life is too boring, I see.
They tell me their problems and knowing how free I am, they want me to help.
Just like old times.
My own problems have eased down alot.
Greatly, I would say.
I have been using my 'ignore the angst' method.

Life:
Has been wonderfully wonderful.
Been meeting alot of my friends already.
For the past one month plus.
Knowing he has another girl now.
For quite some time already.
Fast right he?
It figures that during his time with me, he wasn't this nice to me.
Nah, compared to before, he wasn't close to being that nice at all.
Everything keeping things low.
BOTH the good and bad stuffs.
Selfish, I know.
I was his prop anyway.
And I lasted to tolerate with him for a year and a half.
Woah to that.
I didn't stalk him, yeah.
I've got life to do.
The eyes never lie.
I saw him. Simple.
Didn't rake up the past.
Waste of time actually.
Its as simple as, he wasn't faithful and that he had his hidden agenda.
And that my life now is brighter than ever.
I missed this life, the one I had before I was with him.
Bringing out the best of my every potential.
No one has ever seen me played the guitar, right?
Well, you will soon.

So, I work everything out.
Coz everytime I got pulled back, I remembered my sister.

I don't need another relationship, FAST, to heal myself.
I am not desperate to feel loved that way, anyway.
I don't take anyone as a rebound.
Maybe his is not a rebound because, he cheated.

I find love in another form.
The one that my bestfriends and the rest of my friends showered me with.
The one that my clan has for me.
That undying support is what counts.
That undying support is something I will bring, to death.

That is why
I can survive without facebook.
I can just update here and there, when Im outside.
But it is very obvious I didn't switch on my desktop for a long time.
As long as this blog is not updated, my desktop is not switched on.

Oh yeah, another update
I've got my camcorder.
:)

Okay bye.

2011-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my partner, I got hooked to B2ST
When in the first place, I don't favour them so much.
Then she PURPOSELY go play that song in class just now.
Then she CHANGE when Im enjoying the song.

Sad case is
She's leaving soon.
:(
Then I'll be alone
:( x2

Transformers is showing tomorrow
Yes, me and my girl, Kiasu max when it comes to Transformers
We are watching it tomorrow!
hahaha!
Kiasuism. I know. But I don't care!

Been going out everyday
The distractions and support got stronger

I have no much time left
Yet, Im not gonna think about it
Just go with the flow and live the way I want it to be

There's a voice deep down, reminding me of the actual fact of what I am facing
This time, ignorance is bliss.

2011-06-27T08:14:00.001-07:00

The best thing about the people in my life is
There are always at least one person who will be there when I needed help.
And they did it fast!

Only just now
I got 2 responding to me to help.

Thanks you all
Love love you all!

Just like how Im always there for others
I got it vice versa without waiting, hoping for it to happen.
It will happen, people
Patience is virtue
Just wait.

The only skill you need is
Recognise the blessing behind everything and you'll be on your way
Nothing goes perfectly
Nothing

Don't need to get demoralised
Find the light and don't ponder on it
Somehow, I admit I myself can be like that at times
Demoralised and all
Most of the time, I don't

Well, packed weeks
Ive watched 4 movies in a month!
Thats why my money just deplete like mad
But, Im enjoying life
How my heart may be in a mess right now
I am enjoying life

Glad that mother understands me now

Gonna fulfill my student's dream for me to play a song, by the guitar, for her on her birthday
Teacher Siti working on it kay, dear?

I've yet to unleash my full potential
Like I said years back

Watch me shine

2011-06-26T02:50:00.000-07:00

It's like whatever I do
Just can't get through to you
I'm never gonna tell you nothing wrong
Listen

Now, now she love me, shorty, I loved her
Used to jump up in the Maybach and roll out
Used to care, she used to share
The love that she used to give me can't be found

I lost my way, she said she'd stay
And lately I've been sleeping with a ghost
My stock is down and out
I used to be worth my weight in gold

That was before the great depression kicked in and rocked us
And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us
I told you to leave but you lied to me when you said that
Baby, no worries, I promise to get us back

I know sorries, just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to travel through
But it's like moving mountains
It's like moving mountains

But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
Then the sky turns gray
And the water from the rain washes progress away
It's like moving mountains
It's like moving mountains

Why you just leave me, just leave me be
Just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be

She, she don't touch me, I don't touch her
We ain't really ever say a word
I really wanna give her everything she deserves
But the bad took away the girl

She thinks that I'm full of it, arguments
Always pissed, man I'm tired
Every kiss that I miss
Girl you know I'm trying

You never believe when I say
And I never believe it when you say
I love you, and I shouldn't complain about it
I should take it like a man and walk up out it

Cause we will never be the same
I've been standing in gas
And you have been the flame

So I know sorry, just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to get through
Gotta move this mountain
It's like moving mountains

But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
Then the sky turns gray
And the water from the rain washes progress away
It's like moving mountains
It's like moving mountains

Well baby why you just leave me, just leave me be
Just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be

This must be a slow death that I'm traveling on
It feels so wrong, I'm barely holding on
See no matter what it takes, I've gotta get it together baby yeah

And these hills that I'm traveling up
She ain't showing me love, I'm down on my luck
Ooh, I'm done, oh

I know sorries just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying, I'm trying my boo
But it's like moving mountains
It's like moving mountains

But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
Then the sky turns gray
And the water from the rain washes progress away
It's like moving a mountain
I'm trying to move this mountain

Well baby why you just leave me, just leave me be
Just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be
Why you just leave me, just leave me be

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointin' out my wrongs
i never needed pain,i never needed strenght
My love for you was strong enough you should've known.
I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what i spent
I never ask for help, I take care of myself, I don't know why you think you got a hold on me.

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words, i never needed hurt, i never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way i let go
Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love enough to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say, hey

Nobody gonna love me better
I'mma stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I'mma stickwitu
You know how to appreciate me
I'mma stickwitu, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'mma stickwitu

I don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride in our private lives
Ain't nobody getting in between

I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say

And now
Ain't nothing else I could need
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me

I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts

2011-06-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

My son is back with me
The Papa ignored him anyway
And Jerry
Why do you smell like him?

Ate Ben & Jerry's and something just came back in mind

I miss that certain something from him
Something that now, I cannot find
But heads up
In near future
There must be someone who have it
And better
:)

ok bye

2011-06-22T07:02:00.001-07:00

2011-06-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiosity
Now that it's over
What else could it be he just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time its different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

It's a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when its right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

2011-06-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

Went to Sentosa with family
Tiring max
Nothing else
hahaha

2011-06-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

2011-06-17T10:24:00.001-07:00

Her past relationships were the worst thing in her life. You, being a man should make her new relationship the best of her life.
-@TheNotebook

2011-06-17T10:23:00.002-07:00

Don't get mad when a girl cares too much. Worry when she starts to not care at all.
-@WeEatQuotes

2011-06-17T10:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship with this guy who lives in my future.
-#DamnItsTrue

2011-06-17T10:19:00.001-07:00

Dear EX, you're my past, not my present, definitely not my future because you chose a life without me.
-#DamnItsTrue

2011-06-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

Don't you know Im not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
-Christina Perri

2011-06-14T08:24:00.003-07:00

Told you that no one can lie to me..
I told you so..

I dont need reporters to tell me
I always know..

2011-06-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

You can cover your ears from something you don't want to hear, but you can't just keep your heart from something you don't want to feel.

-@WeEatQuotes

2011-06-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

A relationship is like a job. You have to work hard to get in it, and you have to work even harder to stay in it.

- @WeEatQuotes

Someone asked me did I miss him. I didn't reply.. I just closed my eyes and turned away, then I whispered, "so much.."

2011-06-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

Bagos..
Korean version dont have MV, Japanese one have
And they just started embarking over there, so it explains

Oh, *ehem* I can do this dance
Can pull it off pretty easily
And brother still is trying to pull it off.
Yeah, still.
hahah

2011-06-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

I have always thought that Hara is too vogue for this kinda songs.
Though Nicole suits anything.
hahahha

2011-06-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

Sunday!
Yeah, I know the dance already.

Back to dancing and singing and entertaining
Its a whole different world and its my escape
Its something that I loved so much and this time, Im not letting it go until its time

Alright.
Sunday, here I come!
Then, going for the dance competition after the prac

2011-06-10T05:15:00.000-07:00

If you could envision
The meaning of a Tragedy
You might be surprised to hear it's you and me
When it comes down to it
You never made the most of it
So I cried, cried, cried, and now I say goodbye

2011-06-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hoooooow am I gonna revamp this blog?
Hoooow?

Oh.
I did the stupidest thing just now.

I found out something
And I guess, it will be a long time since I will see you again girl..

Saturday come faster.
Sunday too..

Yeah, it may seem fast
But I guess, my life has been moving fast in the first place
So, yay to me!

Still, I wonder what is going on inside there, you see
Seriously, fill me in?

2011-06-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there

2011-06-07T06:45:00.001-07:00

Scorpios are karma

2011-06-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

2011-06-07T06:41:00.001-07:00

2011-06-07T06:39:00.001-07:00

2011-06-07T06:35:00.001-07:00

2011-06-07T06:34:00.001-07:00

2011-06-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

I was under your spell for such a long time,
Couldn't break the chains
You played with my heart,
Tore me apart with all your lies and games
It took all the strength I had
But I crawled up on my feet again
Now you're trying to lure me back
But no, those days are gone, my friend

I loved you so much that I thought someday that you could change
But all you brought me was a heart full of pain

I was worried about you
But you never cared about me none
You took my money
And I know that you, you could kill someone
I gave you everything
But nothing was ever enough
You were always jealous over such crazy stuff

You can't touch me now
There's no feeling left
If you think I'm coming back,
Don't hold your breath
What you did to me
Boy I can't forget
If you think I'm coming back,
Don't hold your breath
Don't hold your breath

2011-06-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

The Main blog was their jamz man
Back then
Everyday will ask me,
"Eh, got update anot?"

Dont mind my ugly faces. Oops!
Zaman boy girl lagi..

I still couldnt remember who called me Siti Sakura
It should be Kelvin
I know Hussein called me pigiak and bark bark
The other guys, especially Lui Teng(psyduck), called me SPYWARE!
Chin Yang still call me Trojan when I wished him happy birthday few days back.

You know
I lost a friend
She passed away days after my break up
I dont know what else more to think at that moment
I was literally lost for words

2011-06-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

Used to sing to this song with my brother
I still have the recording.

2011-06-03T07:58:00.001-07:00

Back in 2006
This was the video that gave me ideas.
It used to be, "WOW" for me back then
But now, its something normal for me
I can dance exactly like them
Nevertheless, I still look up to them

Those were the days
Where a 6-minute dance song and formations were the trend..

My very last performance was in 2006
A 6-minute plus song.
Which I forgot most of the choreography already..
:)

2011-06-03T07:37:00.000-07:00

You were never like the girl I used to know

-----------------------------------------------
You were never like the guy I used to know

I still love this song though
The dance is still captivating
Pop-lock babeh

2011-06-02T05:08:00.000-07:00

*at work; 6.30pm*
I waited for Ainee and she waited for me
Seriously not used to this
Boss emailed me about the excursion
Asking about their learning objectives
Super lost
This is a last minute thing
I mean, Bapak!
We go fish farm then we learn about fish what.
Aisey bedah.

You were always jealous over such crazy stuffs. What you did to me, boy I cant forget.
-Nicole Scherzinger

ok bye

2011-06-01T10:02:00.001-07:00

I have to remember that I havent recover fully yet

2011-05-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

------

This is how much it relates to what Im feeling all these while..
:'(