There was once, we had a fight.
Anger was brewing inside me but Shahrin decided to calm down his nerves.
I sat down in hopes he would start a conversation to clear the air..
But being him, he didn't.

He took out a note and wrote something and stick it to my bag..
I assume thats what he did because I suddenly saw a sticky note on my bag after a while.

It said,"Iloveyou."

I took out my pen and wrote,"Ok"
And stick it back on his bag.

He saw it and didn't know what to say.
If there's one thing he can't do is to start a conversation when I'm angry.
He can only do all those gestures in hopes I calm down.
Usually, I don't.
Tough luck.

I regret doing that actually.
I suddenly thought about it while I was at work just now.
I thought,"My baby did so much to calm me down.. But I threw him off like that.."
Okay, it's not me being too soft on him.
Here's the case...

He didn't know what to do and after sitting in silence for an hour, I decided to walk.
He took the sticky note, crushed it and threw it away.
Then, he just stayed quiet.
Until I reached home and he left for his.

Reason why I mentioned that he did so much is simply because he do not know how to really cheer me up.
He'll try to just smile it off and annoy me and I'll always ended up laughing.
But when I got angry to that extend, due to a crisis, I know deep down inside him, he's afraid I'll really blow up.
I know he hates to see me like that.

He's always careful when Im fuming like that.
To him, his actions are very important and one small wrong move will cause chaos.
To him, I'm very capable to do that.

I feel like I'm a step mother. haha!

Well, I hope I don't fume up to that extend anymore.

I have anger management and I decided not to control it since Poly days.
I was planning for it to calm on its own without control.
Then it'll develop into my own character.

Apparently, since my days started out to be with Shahrin and my journey was all along with him, my anger has lessen.
Alhamdullillah..

Thank you Allah.

Ok bye