I may write a lot when actually it's not even a third of what it is.
I am a woman married to a man who possess an undying will to live with me.
The most wonderful and I can't ask for more from him.
Everytime I encounter posts on 'The ideal type of man' or 'Boyfriends should do this' or anything else similar, I smile to myself.
For I am so blessed that my husband is not perfect but he's the most perfect for me.
It's a little bit of a history write-up here but memories are meant to be kept dear.
Of course, for this, I will never wanna let it past.
I broke up with the ex.
Of course I fell into the depressed person I was.
I was sick, unhappy and many other things just came about at that point of time.
Asnawi was a brother from different parents and seeing my condition, he stepped in.
He took care of me and all that sheez la.. Too long to type.
I started to get back up, go to work, lead my life normally.
At least happier than not.
Which then I too decided to shut all doors and kept myself away from relationships.
As described by a friend before, I chained a metal ball to my ankle and drag it everywhere I go.
I forgot about my heart, I became mean.
Asnawi and I got busy with our lives and we don't meet so often anymore ever since I got better.
Until one time, we planned to meet up at Bishan.
Suddenly, he said he's bringing his bunk mate along.
I thought I knew that person but was told that I didn't.
I came by Bishan to see a tall guy with a hoodie over trying to hide from me amongst the crowd.
Obviously, he didn't succeed coz, he's tall. Duh! -_-
Greeted each other in our own usual ways but I was distracted by a figure behind me, looking so lost.
The person looked lost by the expression.
I looked at Asnawi and ask,"That's your friend?"
He said,"Na, lemme introduce to you. This is Shahrin. Shahrin, this is Muna. My annoying sister."
I just nodded and replied Asnawi with,"Who' this? Why you bring him?"
I sounded mean, I know. I was that heartless, I didn't watch my tone. N I couldn't be bothered to as well.
Shah smiled at first and greeted me but his expression changed right after I said that.
Sometimes when I thought of that time, I smiled and missed how he looked at me.
It was different. Different from now.
During our whole time being together, the three of us, I spoke to Asnawi most.
Asnawi had a hard time trying to make me talk to Shah but all my words to him are just too harsh.
I even teased Shah one point of time and said,"Smile like that again. You look really stupid."
N he followed and gave me that smile again, maybe out of being challenged.
I got his number after due to his interest in music and my band was looking for a drummer.
I gave him my namecard.
Apparently, Asnawi took the train on the other side while Shah and I took from the same side.
We talked while being inside the train tho he dropped at YCK, stops before me.
I didn't went home straight though.
I met KeeT for awhile discussing the layout for his room at his new house.
The thing about me at that point of time is, I don't really like going home anymore.
I spent a lot of time outside with friends or alone. I hated going out for dates so I rejected every single one of them.
Shah texted me after, which I lost all of those messages though I miss those dearly.
I don't really remember but I know he was trying to be cheeky with me. Hahaha!
A day or two later, I met him during his nights off.
We went to civic to just sit and talk.
I talked a lot. I realised something about me that time.
I realised that in his presence, though I just knew him, I was able to talk and tell him about my life.
He listened attentively. His eyes locked onto me and I gotta admit, I did feel some kinda awkward being around him that time.
When it's time for him to go back to camp, we bid goodbye and since I am used to hugging my friends before going our parted ways, I asked him,"That's all? No hugs?"
His face just shows one emotion.
Confusion.
Eventually, he did hug me. Oh so lightly!
He was so awkward, I laughed inside.
Days passed and he kept asking me out, fetching me from work on Fridays.
We basically only sat down and talk and talk until one fine day, he suddenly calls me 'baby'.
It was 'dear' first though. hahaha!
I didn't know why he called me that though we were not in a relationship but I followed the flow.
He went jamming with me too during those times.
Then, he finally asked me for my hand.
As his girlfriend, best friend, partner in crime, future wife, mother of his kids and to grow old with him.
It took quite some time to answer him but I eventually told him to call me and say it again, twice.
Then, i accepted.
The first year was a bliss.
We did fight, very few times, but resolved on that point of time itself and we forgot about it.
Until one time, a problem came tumbling into our lives and it took almost a year to resolve.
The struggles and suffering, when I look back, I am grateful that Allah grant me the strength to fight.
I smiled to realise that Shah never once left my side. He was and still is there by me fighting with me.
He refuses to even let me take one issue on my own.
He promised me,"Any problems we face, we settle it together, we got through everything together. Never on our own."
I learnt a lot from this man.
I grew up and the person who was too mean to comprehend, was no longer there inside me.
Ive changed. A lot. N I know that very well..
Shah sacrificed a lot for me. He took care of me, going up and down non-stop for me.
He's passionate. He's even passionate for my passions.
He shares his dreams with me and insists that I am involved in everything he does.
He wants me to be there every step he takes.
I love this man so much, these words are just too light for it.
He respects me so much, I tear so much inside thanking Allah all the time.
I met the man every other girl actually wants.
Nobody will believe me and please don't. hahaha!
Coz for me, I've been praying and dreaming of a man like him.
And Allah grant me my prayers.
Alhamdullillah.
He do possess a lot of flaws like i do.
But that doesn't stop me from wanting to live with him.
I gave half of heart to him before until I grew to give my whole heart to him.
He's a gem, very precious to me.
I don't allow anyone else to touch him to hurt him.
I got so overprotective of him, he had to calm me down all the time.
My friends became his friends and all of us are one whole big family!
Today, he is my husband.
My lawfully wedded husband and I am his wife.
I love him and will always do.
Dear husband,
You have done so much for us. I am extremely thankful for that.
I promised myself I will be the best for you, taking care of you even though it's gonna cost me so much of my energy.
I promised myself I'll strive to give you what you want and be with you every step of the way.
You're the fierce one, not me. I know that.
But to me, you're always so soft. Always so calm and patient.
I am crazy a lot of times and all you do is just to laugh at my nonsense.
I love seeing you pray, doing your prayers and encouraging me all the time.
You've been the world to me and you will always be.
Please guide me in whatever I'm lacking.
Correct me when I'm wrong and to better my ways when there's a need to.
You're my leader now, my Imam.
It is my duty as your wife to follow you.
You're my best friend. The one who I can talk about anything to. Just anything.
I can consult and discuss with you about everything going on in my life and I always don't have to look further with your advices.
You're the best for me, n I chose to marry you.
Lets live our dreams together, fulfil our duties together and to never forget where we come from.
Iloveyou, with my heart and soul.
Love,
Me! Your wife.
