Another notice up!

Disclaimer: If you think it's for you, feel all you want. 

It goes like a mantra..
I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.
Why do I keep lying to myself?

It all went about okay until one drop started.
I started to say;

I hate my work.

One after another it started to accumulate, pile and whatever else that comes into place.
After which, it became;

I hate my workload.

It all started to get into a turmoil.
A typhoon of a lot of unnecessary pressure and stress.
Then, I started to hate a lot of things.

I hate the management.
I hate the people in the management team.
No, I hate some of them. Some of them are really, cool, you know?
Some of them are just stupid with no levels because it's too high.

Then it went on and on.

I hate the environment of the place.
It's so stuffy and I am always falling ill for nuts!
Since when my immune system became this bad?
I'm starting to love my paperwork actually.
I miss being a teacher because that position in this company, is the easiest!
I LOVE TEACHING. But I'm not given that opportunity because my paperwork is being a douche to me.

The mantra goes crazy everyday.
I talk to myself all the time and the voices inside my head has always been screaming these days.

Now it all went back to square one.

I hate my job. My position. 
The things I love about it is that it allows me to further my horizons with numbers, the privileges, salary and the opportunity to go out of my scope and into attending events.
THAT IS ALL.

It's a vicious cycle, you see.
I tried to get out of it but I couldn't quite figure it out yet.
Until now.

I managed. I got the plans all set but it still all depends on Him to confirm it.
I realised that I wanted so much to leave this industry.
It's been 8 long years and ever since I left teaching, I've been meaning to leave.
I stayed because of the children. It was never about anything else.

I met a lot of people throughout the years.
A lot of stupid, smart, hardworking, annoying, crazy, dumb, loyal, grateful and many more kinds of people.
It pisses me off. Now, it does.
I think I've just had enough of it. Of everything with people relation.
Doesn't matter whether or not it's in a form of communicating with the parents, staffs, school personnel, outside semi-gov bodies and many more.
This liaison thing is just, off limits.

I started to revert back to arts.
Started to revert back to what I studied for back then.
My diplomas.
They're the papers left inside my file and it stayed there.
I didn't really fully utilise it.

However, throughout this grovelling years, I met a few people who became friends.
People who're like siblings to me. Fought with me but never backed down with the friendship.
Didn't mix work with our personal affairs outside and no matter how much we got into a tiff, we're still together.
Talk it out like adults, without assuming anything, open up, admit to each other's mistakes, shake hands and we're good.
We know being an adult doesn't take you to be 21. It takes a broad mindset and an independent self to be an adult. To own up, receive and accept the mistakes you made.
Instead of lying your way through and acted as if you're innocent the whole time even though your lies are already obvious.
People already know about it. What else are you going to do?
Shut yourself out from everyone so that you don't have to lie anymore?
Just shut up and 'let their imaginations run wild'?
That's cowardice. That't child's play.
Behaving like an emotional teenager whose puberty just hit them like an 18-wheeler truck and they can't handle it.


Zarinah has been there all the while.
Up till today. We've been working hand in hand so much, it's so hard to lose our friendship.
Trust me, our fights don't go through the internet.
We say it to each other's face.
Whether you like it or not, deal with it.
We literally screamed at each other's faces and a few hours later, laugh at each other.
That's a true friend.
Oh, if you're curious, our fights took place outside of work.
During work, we still partnered each other and work back to back.

Apart from her, I met another one.
Hui Qi.
She's like the older sister to me. Always watching my back and our views for most things are similar.
I took after her to keep a lookout for each other's backs but some people, don't get it.
They're selfish to the core that they don't understand what's the meaning of teamwork.


Some people will lie to you. They will behave as if you're all that to them.
You will help them as much as you can and after all that, they slam you back and being the ungrateful brats they are, leave as if they're all mighty.
When they're not. I won't do anything, as usual.
Until KARMA hits you back in your sorry ASS.
Hahahaha!

Okay stop.

Seriously, I remember years back there's this woman who claimed to have 10 years of  experience in the industry.
She made a lot of fuss about her salary, her work, job scope and many more.
If I'm not wrong, she dislikes the idea of doing closing when our first priority is the safety of the children.
I remember her so well, everyone of us still do.
She said something along this line,"I don't need this job, I'm already a millionaire."
HAHAHAHA

There's so many more!
The one who refuses to do the marking.
The one who twists your words.
The one who CAN NEVER BE TOLD OF THEIR MISTAKES.
The one who feels she has class and everything she owns must be originally branded.
The ones who tried to outsmart the big boss on their contract terms and ended up getting flicked back by boss.
The ONES who use emotional blackmail on you. I met SO MANY of this kind. SO MANY! What is wrong with you people? Seriously, get a grip! Zarinah and I always laugh at them after telling them off. Being the mean bitch I am, you know I was the harshest.
The one who did so much to win the bosses' hearts.
The one who wanted nothing but attention from everyone.
The one who tells everyone else to resign because they're still young and can get a better paying job outside.
The one who chooses who to talk nicely to. Attitude alert!

The list up there ^ , comprises of the very few I've met.
I couldn't possibly list all of them here because, c'mon, 8 years of people.
To the extend I'm tired of doing this job.

In all else, I'm still going to move forward. Towards the one thing I'm most passionate for.

Like I always say, you don't like it here, leave. Get lost.

Ok bye