Just because I was absorbed in my own world. Hah.
"I choose the people to be around with based on their character and how they behave around/towards me. Not based on their family background."
That's how it is.
I get really turned off with people who just had to associate me with some people they dislike.
They dislike that person, they dislike me too.
From being stupid to obnoxiously ignorant, at which point are you at?
I would've no friends by now if I were to base on the theory of judging a person from where they are from. It's illogical and unfair.
We all know, in every family, there's always that one bad apple. Well, maybe not all.
Safe to say, majority of those I know can base on this.
Even my own family, there's at least 1 bad apple.
Me? I'm the defected apple rejected from the manufacturer.
I'm a pro to look down on myself and there's nothing you can do about it.
Maybe? Hah.
I put myself at a height that I can afford to.
Any further, I won't have people to torment me. I'll do the honours first.
Expectations for myself are way too high and you'll find me ridiculous.
Self factor to push yourself to greater heights. Sometimes, I get too absorbed into accomplishing something, I forgot to be happy.
Like how I was for the past few weeks, been so absorbed into my own world.
Back to topic..
I didn't chance upon only 1 person to tell me that they choose based on the family's background.
I had tons of them telling me that throughout the years of my life.
I am 3 years away to being 30cents and that's enough to make me feel old.
Even though I am still very young. Hah!
A person can come from all-round rotten/broken family but he or she is a sincere being.
Why would I, then, stay away from this person? Influences from home?
It can come about that this person is so independent mentally that it didn't get to him or her.
Honestly, if that's what you're worrying about, this person would've been rotten in the first place.
I, too, don't get why people can suddenly dislike me (I won't use the word ' hate' coz it'll make me cry. Kidding.) even without me doing anything to them.
For example, I barely say anything to them. Or about them to anyone else, for that matter.
I suddenly have to bear the hate.
Sorry, dislike.
How does that make sense?
I can only conclude some things that seems practical enough.
One, I am being talked about, shoved 'facts' that is worst that the fictional character, Dobby from Harry Potter.
Two, I am related to someone that this person hates.
Three, I have a resting bitch face and quickly got assumed to be a bitch. Though, I admit that I can be one at times. When you're being a person who refused to use your brains gifted to you, that is.
Apart from these, I can't think of much more.
You got some ideas?
I'm out of anything else to talk about this topic.
I cannot fathom how people can go about judging me just by my face.
MY FACE!
The face that God gave me.
Oh my goodness. Are you expecting me to smile all the time until I crack my jaw?
I got judged even when I'm holding through pain (back pain, stomach pain, leg pain etc.).
Da tak betol ape orang2 ni semua?
Even when I'm watching the television! I was just focused watching the show and what do you expect me to do? SMILE ALL THE WAY?!
From being stupid to obnoxiously ignorant, at which point are you at?
C'mon, get real.
Oh, here's a note to a person who thinks I'm a worthless junkie now. You can't reap any benefits from me anymore, maybe that's why.
You blocked me off WhatsApp and don't act as if you didn't.
I didn't tell you off because you're just being childish.
Let me tell you this.
I was there throughout your tantrums and received the punches you gave me out of your anger.
I held on because I love you. Because I want you to get better.
I was there on your dark days, listening to you, tip-toeing around you to make sure I do not trigger you further.
Now, you are almost disregarding me and myself. As if all I've ever done was harm to you.
You can be so nice to everyone else but not me, as if I'm the one who ruined your life.
I will remember every single word you said to me.
The period when I was down and had no hope to live anymore.
I held onto my husband so tight that his health took a toll on him.
It tormented me a lot. With a lot of regret, how could I have done that to him?
But you? The person who I hoped can get me by because I believe you've been there, in my situation.
All that you know about me, I thought it was sufficient.
If you're wondering, I didn't forgive you for what you did to me. You just drove me further into the pit.
I will not get on your good side, I am not bothered to anymore.
I chose the wrong person. I shouldn't have stayed any longer than I should have.
I choose me over you.
And I promised myself to never choose you, anymore.
Ok bye.
